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#68: Establishing Relationships and Character Connections in Fiction
This is the first post in a new series within Jane Austen Writing Lessons which will focus on relationships and character connections. A lot of times we think about relationships as romantic, and we will talk about that (after all, Austen has written some of my all-time favorite romantic relationships). But before we get to that point, we’re going to consider more general principles of establishing character relationships and connections.
In Jane Austen’s novel Emma, the very first spoken dialogue comes from Emma’s father, Mr. Woodhouse. He declares:
“Poor Miss Taylor!—I wish she were here again. What a pity it is that Mr. Weston ever thought of her!”
Miss Taylor is Emma’s former governess. She has recently married Mr. Weston, and as a result she no longer works for Mr. Woodhouse. Mr. Woodhouse is highly opposed to her loss. Emma attempts to convince her father that the marriage is a positive thing, beginning by saying, “I cannot agree with you, papa; you know I cannot.”
In these first few pages of Emma, the relationships and connections between characters begin to unfold:
Even in these first few pages, Jane Austen masterfully establishes the relationships between different sets of characters. Many of these relationships become driving factors in the novel, influencing plot and character, and adding meaning and consequence to the characters’ actions. Some of the relationships shift and change over the course of the novel, while others remain relatively static.
The first definition for the word relationship in the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) is as follows:
The state or fact of being related; the way in which two things are connected; a connection, an association. Also: kinship.
It’s only in definition 2b that the OED defines a relationship in an emotional or sexual way, so let’s linger on this first definition of relationship, in which two people are related or connected in some way.
The primary root for the word relationship is the word relation, which, according to the OED, began to be used in English in around 1398. A relation means there is a “connection, correspondence, or contrast between different things.” Examining the relation between two things means considering why they are associated or what connects them. A relation can also mean “the social interactions that occur and feelings that exist between two or more people or groups of people.”
As you write or revise your own fiction, it’s important to look at the relationships and connections between characters, both ones which involve your main character and relationships which only involve the supporting characters.
As I consider relationships in my own stories, I like to ask:
- What connects people?
- How do two characters know each other?
- How do they feel about each other? Why?
- How does one relationship affect other relationships in the story?
- Is the main character aware of the connections between other characters?
- How do the character relationships manifest on the page, in actions and behaviors?
- What events in the novel will cause shifts or changes in these relationships?
In the coming months, we’ll look more closely at how Jane Austen uses relationship arcs, builds webs of relations, and also constructs romantic relationships. But first, here are some writing exercises.
Exercise 1: Consider the first five to ten pages of your book. Make a list of each relationship that is established and what your reader knows about each relationship so far.
Exercise 2: Find a place that has a number of people and spend a few minutes people watching. If you see any relationships or connections between people, write them down. What sort of relationships do you think these people have? What clues help you understand these relationships?
Exercise 3: Write a scene about two characters who would be unlikely to have any sort of prior connection but do have some sort of relationship (i.e. a friendship, a past, same employer, etc.).
I Just Bought My First Barbie + My Thoughts on the Barbie Movie
This week, I–a thirty-something year old woman–bought my very first Barbie doll.
I never owned a single Barbie when I was a child. Yet I desperately wanted one. I loved going over to friends’ houses and playing with Barbie dolls, dream houses, and pink cars.
I never asked for a Barbie because I assumed that my parents would be opposed to them and everything Barbie stood for (a sexualized, unattainable, and perhaps undesirable version of reality–clearly they wouldn’t that want that).
Years later, one of my younger sisters had Barbies, and I realized that I should have asked. Maybe a Barbie would have been outside of my family’s budget, but maybe it would have become that coveted Christmas present.
Fast-forward to myself as an adult, and my daughters own dozens of Barbie dolls, several Chelsea dolls, and a few pets. And, lest I forget, a single Ken doll. I have bought Barbies for them and Barbies for birthday presents, as if I am trying to make up for lost time. And I’ve spent many hours playing Barbies with my children. One of my youngest’s favorite versions involves designating half of the Barbies as villains and often includes kidnapping, tying Barbies up with ropes, and all manner of treachery and shenanigans.
Then came the Barbie movie. Not those animated movies that my daughters used to watch that I find supremely annoying, but THE 2023 Barbie movie.
I knew, from the moment the first Barbie teaser trailer dropped, that I would love the Barbie film. After all, 2001: A Space Odyssey is one of my favorite films, and if a director can manage to do a perfect homage, remaking every shot but with baby dolls, then I’m on board for the ride. (I’ll spare you the 1000-word analysis of the opening sequence of 2001…but know that this analysis is ever in my heart.)
Earlier this week, I was feeling very prepared for the Barbie movie:
- Group of friends to go with? Check.
- Tickets to opening night? Check.
- Outfit? Check. (Matching Barbie shirts with customized “This Barbie is…” statements on the back.)
But I wanted a Margot Robbie Barbie doll. My internal voices, the same voices that led me to not ask for a Barbie, told me:
- I don’t need a Barbie doll
- I’m an adult–clearly I don’t need a Barbie doll
- This is a waste of money
- I’m going overboard for this movie, when I’m not even a Barbie superfan
I decided not to listen to the voices. I bought the Barbie doll.
And then I brought my very own Barbie–my very first Barbie–with me to the movie.
The showing was absolutely packed, mostly with women, but also with men and children. And the film was a delight. It was a perfect mix of comedy, cultural references, and simultaneous lighthearted embracing and mocking of fandom and society, mixed with touching, heartfelt moments.
One of the things I’ve struggled with throughout my adult life is a feeling of internal conflict. Of wanting to be many things, but feeling like my wants and desires don’t match up with all the many versions of what the different cultural, social, religious, and family groups I am a part of think I should be. It’s something I’ve tried to work through with therapists, but almost always I feel this internal tension, this sense that I’m not enough, this almost-wish that I could just happily fit into one of the roles that has been prescribed for me, and somehow just feel happy and content in this role. Could I just not want more? Could I just not want something different? Wouldn’t life be better that way?
This movie–Barbie’s journey, Ken’s journey, Gloria’s journey, Sasha’s journey–made me feel less alone. It made me feel like maybe I’m not the only one struggling with this. In fact, this is something everyone faces–especially women. Like Barbie, I can be who I want to be. Like Barbie, I can take on many roles. Like Barbie, there will be challenges and conflict, and the path won’t always be clear. But I can keep trying.
I have no regrets about buying myself a Barbie doll.
