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Jane Austen Writing Lessons 67. Creating an Emotional Map: Making Interconnected Emotions

#67: Creating an Emotional Map: Making Interconnected Emotions

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons 67. Creating an Emotional Map: Making Interconnected Emotions

We’ve talked a lot about writing emotions over the past months, with posts on:

I wanted to do one final post on emotions, that ties everything together, so today I’ll be talking about creating an emotional map, or making a characters emotions in a single scene connected to their emotions in other scenes.

Near the end of Pride and Prejudice, Jane, the eldest of the Bennet sisters, becomes engaged to Mr. Bingley. Elizabeth opens a door and sees Jane and Mr. Bingley standing next to the fireplace, rather close to each other. Jane and Bingley quickly move apart, looking embarrassed.

Not a syllable was uttered by either; and Elizabeth was on the point of going away again, when Bingley, who as well as the other had sat down, suddenly rose, and, whispering a few words to her sister, ran out of the room.

Jane could have no reserves from Elizabeth, where confidence would give pleasure; and, instantly embracing her, acknowledged, with the liveliest emotion, that she was the happiest creature in the world.

“’Tis too much!” she added, “by far too much. I do not deserve it. Oh, why is not everybody as happy?”

Elizabeth’s congratulations were given with a sincerity, a warmth, a delight, which words could but poorly express. Every sentence of kindness was a fresh source of happiness to Jane. But she would not allow herself to stay with her sister, or say half that remained to be said, for the present.

“I must go instantly to my mother,” she cried. “I would not on any account trifle with her affectionate solicitude, or allow her to hear it from anyone but myself. He is gone to my father already. Oh, Lizzy, to know that what I have to relate will give such pleasure to all my dear family! how shall I bear so much happiness?”

Jane’s emotions are expressed primarily through her physical actions and through her dialogue (including the diction, word choice, and use of emphasis). It’s an effective scene at conveying emotions, but what makes it work is largely based on what Austen has established in the rest of the book.

An 1895 Illustration by CE Brock of Jane and Bingley standing close together next to the fireplace. Bingley holds Jane's hand, and Elizabeth peeks around the corner of the door.

An 1895 illustration by CE Brock of Jane and Bingley together, immediately after becoming engaged. Public domain image via Wikimedia Commons.

This post-proposal scene is in conversation with dozens of other scenes which have demonstrated Jane’s emotions. We’ve seen how reserved Jane is in outwardly expressing emotions, especially in groups of people (of Bingley she offers only “cautious praise” to everyone but Elizabeth). We’ve seen the pleasure Jane takes from little interactions with Mr. Bingley and his sister. We’ve seen her hope for an engagement. And then we’ve seen her despair—her utter, all-encompassing despair—when Mr. Bingley leaves without a word to her (though his sister Caroline almost gleefully writes to Jane of the news).

At various points Elizabeth and other characters analyze Jane’s emotions, sensing Jane’s devastation beneath all her attempts to insist that “He will be forgot, and we shall all be as we were before.”

At one point, Elizabeth reexamines all the letters that Jane has written to her:

They contained no actual complaint, nor was there any revival of past occurrences, or any communication of present suffering. But in all, and in almost every line of each, there was a want of that cheerfulness which had been used to characterize her style, and which, proceeding from the serenity of a mind at ease with itself, and kindly disposed towards everyone, had been scarcely ever clouded. Elizabeth noticed every sentence conveying the idea of uneasiness…

Jane’s utter joy at her engagement if effective because of all of these other scenes. Her happiness is the culmination of her earlier attachment to Mr. Bingley, and provides stark contrast to her despair.

An individual emotion does not occur in a vacuum. The emotion found in a single scene is simply a leaf or a branch on a character’s emotional tree. It’s a single block in a Lego tower, part of a larger structure which is more magnificent and complex than an individual Lego can be on its own.

An old map, faded and yellowing, with mountains, castles, rivers, and bridges hand-drawn in ink

When I am revising a story, I like to consider a character’s individual emotions as part of a larger emotional map. After all, a character has emotional valleys and mountains, fast-moving rivers and muddy bogs. There are cities and villages: parts of the map where a series of emotions relate to a particular person, object, incident, or theme. Some characters experience their emotional map as a journey: they have an emotional arc as their emotions, or ways of dealing with their emotions, change. Other characters circle through the map in a regular fashion, or spend most of their time in a single area of the map. For some characters, we receive only a glimpse of their emotional map, while for others, we explore broad swaths of it with them.

Whenever I am stuck trying to figure out a character’s emotion, or I feel like I’m not effectively conveying that emotion on the page, I think about the characters emotional map and how this emotion connects to all the others in the story. Doing so always helps me to understand the character’s emotion in the moment and what will best convey that to the reader.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

1. Write a page about how your current emotions connect to prior emotions you have had. You can focus on a specific emotion or on a specific incident. Reflect on what your own emotions can teach you about the emotions of your characters.

2. Use a visual form to analyze one of your character’s emotions and how they connect to each other. This might be a map (or even a treasure map), a tree, a building/structure, or anything else you think would be an effective medium. You could create this with paper or other objects, or you could print out a map/floorplan/picture, etc. and add things to it. Personally, I like doing this in a tactile way, with pen, paper, glue, etc., but you can do it virtually as well.

3. Find one of your favorite expressions of emotion in fiction, and then find two or three other passages/scenes in the same work that have a strong connection to this emotion (whether in building to it, contrasting with it, foreshadowing it, etc.).

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #64: The Size or Degree of Character Emotions

#64: The Size or Degree of Character Emotions

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #64: The Size or Degree of Character Emotions

When we talk about emotions in writing, we often think of big emotions, when characters are very emotional and emotive.

Yet characters experience not only a broad range of types of emotions, but a broad range of sizes of emotions. Characters have emotions that are strong or overwhelming, but they also have emotions that are fleeting and less consequential.

When considering the size of the emotion, it’s useful to ask:

  • To what degree does your character experience this emotion?
  • How important is this emotion to the story?
  • How many emotional clues need to be planted to convey this emotion?

In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth experiences emotions in every scene—and in most scenes, she experiences more than one emotion. Let’s look at how Jane Austen conveys small emotions, mid-size emotions, and large emotions for this character.

Small Emotions

Small emotions are ones that the character experiences either for a short time, or only to a small degree. This might a small annoyance, a temporary flush of joy, a reaction to another character or something that happened.

While attending the Meryton Assembly, Elizabeth overhears Mr. Bingley trying to convince Mr. Darcy to dance, and Bingley points out that Elizabeth could be a good partner. Mr. Darcy replies:

“She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me.”

Illustration from 1894 by Hugh Thomson, featuring Jane overhearing Mr. Darcy tell Mr. Bingley "She is tolerable"

1894 illustration from Pride and Prejudice by Hugh Thomson, via Lilly Library, Indiana University, Wikipedia Commons

While this is a rather weighty insult, Elizabeth has only a small emotional response:

Mr. Darcy walked off; and Elizabeth remained with no very cordial feelings towards him. She told the story however with great spirit among her friends; for she had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in any thing ridiculous.

Clearly she’s not happy with Darcy, but rather than wallowing in the emotion, she sees it as ridiculous and tells it as a funny story.

Throughout Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth often uses humor as a lens to deal with small emotions. For some character, this event could create a much larger emotional response, but for Elizabeth it remains small, and she moves on.

It is a key emotional moment for the reader–one of the most memorable moments in the novel, that sets up their antagonism–but it doesn’t require very much space on the page.

At other times emotions are implied or are barely brushed upon. It’s important for the reader to understand what the character’s emotion is, but it’s a small emotion that needs only a small amount of space.

For example, after Mr. Collins’ arrival, he starts showering compliments on the family:

He had not been long seated before he complimented Mrs. Bennet on having so fine a family of daughters, said he had heard much of their beauty, but that, in this instance, fame had fallen short of the truth; and added, that the did not doubt her seeing them all in due time well disposed of in marriage.

And then, Austen gives us the emotional response of Elizabeth and her sisters, in contrast to Mrs. Bennet’s response:

This gallantry was not much to the taste of some of his hearers, but Mrs. Bennet, who quarrelled with no compliments, answered most readily.

It’s a simple phrase—“not much to the taste of some of his hearers”—but it does all that is needed to do to establish Elizabeth’s sentiments towards her cousin.

Hugh Thomson 1894 illustration from Pride and Prejudice. Five sisters sit on chairs, as if on display, and Mr. Collins inspects them. Mrs. Bennet adjusts the pose of one of her daughters. Jane has a sign over her head that says "Not for sale"

1894 illustration by Hugh Thomson from Pride and Prejudice. Jane, of course, is “Not for Sale,” but Mr. Collins is welcome (according to Mrs. Bennet) to choose any of the other daughters. Image via Wikimedia Commons.

Mid-Size Emotions

Mid-size emotions are ones that are larger for the character. They occupy more of the character’s heart and mind—they linger, have consequence, or are not as quickly resolved. They have a weightier impact on the character, and they often require more sentences on the page—more emotional clues.

In Pride and Prejudice, after Elizabeth and her sisters meet Mr. Wickham, Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy see them—and Mr. Darcy sees Mr. Wickham. Elizabeth witnesses their emotions, and has her own emotions (particularly her curiosity) piqued.

[Mr. Darcy’s eyes] were suddenly arrested by the sight of the stranger, and Elizabeth happening to see the countenance of both as they looked at each other, was all astonishment at the effect of the meeting. Both changed colour, one looked white, the other red. Mr. Wickham, after a few moments, touched his hat—a salutation which Mr. Darcy just deigned to return. What could be the meaning of it? It was impossible to imagine; it was impossible not to long to know.

Here, Elizabeth notes the interaction, and her questions and her longing to know show her curiosity.

Later on in the scene, we read:

As they walked home, Elizabeth related to Jane what she had seen pass between the two gentlemen; but though Jane would have defended either or both, had they appeared to be in the wrong, she could no more explain such behaviour than her sister.

Elizabeth comes back to her emotion, she comes back to her puzzlement and her curiosity by raising it with Jane.

Mid-size emotions often need either more emotional clues, or recur again at some point in the scene.

1895 illustration by C.E. Brock of the arrival of Mr. Wickham and other officers at a gathering held by the Phillips family. Via Wikimedia Commons.

It’s not long after this point when Mr. Wickham’s confides in Elizabeth, telling his story of how he has been wronged by Mr. Darcy. This revelation produces emotions in Elizabeth that are larger than the emotions she felt upon seeing their initial antagonism, but still mid-sized in comparison to some of her emotions in other scenes.

Elizabeth is shocked, and we see this shock and surprise in her speech:

“This is quite shocking!—He deserves to be publicly disgraced.”

In the scene that follows she then asks follow-up questions. She pauses when speaking. She reflects. She remembers things Mr. Darcy has said in the past that would seem to corroborate Wickham’s claims. These emotional clues are layered on each other, giving a sense of how she feels.

She also uses many more exclamation marks than in her normal dialogue, and uses strong word choice:

“How strange!” cried Elizabeth. “How abominable! I wonder that the very pride of this Mr. Darcy has not made him just to you! If from no better motive, that he should not have been too proud to be dishonest—for dishonesty I must call it.”

Even once her conversation with Mr. Wickham is over, she keeps returning to it in her mind. Her emotions on the matter, and on Mr. Wickham more generally, become her entire focus:

There could be no conversation in the noise of Mrs. Phillips’s supper party, but his manners recommended him to everybody. Whatever he said, was said well; and whatever he did, done gracefully. Elizabeth went away with her head full of him. She could think of nothing but of Mr. Wickham, and of what he had told her, all the way home; but there was not time for her even to mention his name as they went, for neither Lydia nor Mr. Collins were once silent.

And her emotions don’t end in this scene. The next chapter begins:

Elizabeth related to Jane the next day, what had passed between Mr. Wickham and herself.

Note how much more page time is given to this emotion than to when Mr. Darcy insulted her at the ball. Note how much more it consumes her—how it engages her in different ways and uses a larger variety of emotional clues.

Large Emotions

Large emotions are bigger for the characters. They are often more personal and have larger consequences. They can accompany events or knowledge which is life changing or life shattering. Often these emotions are large because the circumstances require the character to develop a new understanding of the world and their place in it.

Like with mid-size emotions, large emotions require more page time, a layering of emotional clues, and a return, multiple times, to the emotion. Large emotions also provoke stronger reactions, stronger or more extreme physical sensations, and lead the character to engage in behavior that is outside of their norm.

1894 illustration by Hugh Thomson of Colonel Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth. Via Wikimedia Commons.

Elizabeth is extremely upset when she finds out from Colonel Fitzwilliam that it was Mr. Darcy who broke up Mr. Bingley and her sister Jane. He says simply,

“There were some strong objections against the lady.”

Paragraphs follow in which Elizabeth deals with her emotions, thinking about what happened. She considers how in  some ways Mr. Darcy is right to have objections, but then she counters her own thoughts by thinking about how much Jane has been wronged.

The agitation and tears which the subject occasioned, brought on a headache; and it grew so much worse towards the evening that, added to her unwillingness to see Mr. Darcy, it determined her not to attend her cousins to Rosings, where they were engaged to drink tea.

For most of her smaller negative emotions, Elizabeth has used humor. For mid-sized ones, she grapples with the problem, considering it from many sides—which she also does here. But this is emotion to a new degree. This has caused tears and a headache. And while Elizabeth is normally very correct in her behaviors and social expectations, she does not go to Rosings as she normally would.

In the next chapter we see the continuation of this emotion as she goes through all of Jane’s letters, trying to read Jane’s emotions and see how Mr. Bingley’s absence has impacted her sister.

It’s only a few pages later that Mr. Darcy proposes to her. She angrily turns him down, expressing her emotions to him in multiple ways. Even after he has gone, we continue to experience her emotions with her, and we have a longer shift into free indirect speech than we’ve experienced at other points in the novel.

The tumult of her mind, was now painfully great. She knew not how to support herself, and from actual weakness sat down and cried for half-an-hour. Her astonishment, as she reflected on what had passed, was increased by every review of it. That she should receive an offer of marriage from Mr. Darcy! That he should have been in love with her for so many months! So much in love as to wish to marry her in spite of all the objections which had made him prevent his friend’s marrying her sister, and which must appear at least with equal force in his own case—was almost incredible! It was gratifying to have inspired unconsciously so strong an affection. But his pride, his abominable pride—his shameless avowal of what he had done with respect to Jane—his unpardonable assurance in acknowledging, though he could not justify it, and the unfeeling manner in which he had mentioned Mr. Wickham, his cruelty towards whom he had not attempted to deny, soon overcame the pity which the consideration of his attachment had for a moment excited.

She continued in very agitated reflections till the sound of Lady Catherine’s carriage made her feel how unequal she was to encounter Charlotte’s observation, and hurried her away to her room.

Illustration by C E Brock -- Mr. Darcy greets Elizabeth at the gate. He holds out a letter. Text reads, "Will you do me the honour of reading that letter?"

1895 illustration by C.E. Brock of Mr. Darcy giving Elizabeth a letter. Image via Wikimedia Commons.

Later, she receives his letter full of explanations. During the letter, we just read it with Elizabeth–the whole letter is included with no interruptions, no character actions or thoughts. We experience our own emotions as readers, and can guess at Elizabeth’s. Then after the letter, we have lengthy passages in which she walks, she re-reads, she analyzes specific phrases, she reflects. Her emotions undergo multiple shifts—and we go with her through these shifts.

Large emotions are often more complicated. They are not as clear cut—anger, joy, frustration, forgiveness can all be complicated and filled with nuance. Large emotions are bottles filled to bursting, and often require the character’s exploration and the narrator’s. They shift, they grow, they lessen, they increase again, and as we ride this roller coaster with the character, we empathize and at times even have a cathartic experience.

Conclusion

If you attend a symphony, you will not hear all the instruments playing at full volume the entire time. That would not be good music. Instead, some movements may be performed at quietly, while others will swell to fortissimo, some sections may highlight the violins, while others may feature brass instruments, and other still use a solo. We may only hear the cymbal a handful of times, but when we do, it will be at key moments.

We should do the same when we write character emotions: include a range of emotions, some of which are focused on at different times. Sometimes we touch on an emotion for only a moment; other times we explore the emotion for an extended period, or bring back an emotional theme later in the story. Including varying degrees of emotions—small, mid-sized, and large—creates contrast and emphasis, directs the readers’ attention, and serves to better illustrate character, as we see how they react and change in moments big and small.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Emotion chart

Reread a book or rewatch a film you enjoy. As you do so, create a chart of character emotions. You can focus on the main character’s emotions or chart the emotions of multiple characters. Track the types of emotions experienced by the character(s), the size of the emotions, and what emotional clues are used.

Does a character experience or express large or small emotions differently? How do the biggest emotions line up with the biggest plot moments?

Exercise 2: Emotion reversal

Write about a small emotion you had in a large way—with several paragraphs and a layering of emotional clues. For example, spend a significant amount of time writing about mild irritation at no ripe avocados, a small amount of joy from getting the day’s Wordle, etc.

Now, write about a large emotion you had in a small way. This might be a phrase or a few sentences. You might dismiss the large emotion, compare it to something else and move on, etc.

Now, reflect. While often it’s useful to write about bigger emotions in a big way, and smaller emotions in a small way, in what circumstances would it be useful to do the reverse?

Exercise 3: Planning (or revising) a story

Plan out a novel that you intend to write. Which three scenes do you want to have the biggest, most explored emotions? How will the placement of these emotional scenes help the story? (You can also do this with a short story—however, choose one scene or moment to have the biggest, most explored emotions.)

If you are revising a story, find which scenes already have the biggest, most expressed emotions. Are these the scenes that should have the most emotional weight? Are they expressing or layering in the most effective way? As necessary, revise.

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #58: Ineffective Dialogue and Persuasion

#58: Ineffective Dialogue and Persuasion

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #58: Ineffective Dialogue and Persuasion

Mr. Collins’ failed proposal to Elizabeth is one of the core scenes of Pride and Prejudice. In turning down Mr. Collins, Elizabeth asserts her independence, and she actively makes a choice about what she does—and does not—want her future to look like.

But why does Mr. Collins’ proposal fail? After all, he makes many attempts to persuade her to marry him, and he uses the same rhetorical techniques—ethos, pathos, and logos—which are often used more effectively by many of Austen’s characters.

(Quick recap from the previous lesson. Three of the most common rhetorical appeals are ethos, the appeal to authority, pathos, the appeal to emotion, and logos, the appeal to logic/reason.)

Yet Mr. Collins is not alone in failing at persuasion. In Pride and Prejudice, endless characters fail to convince others at various points, including Elizabeth Bennet, Mr. Darcy, Charlotte Lucas, Mrs. Bennet, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Mrs. Gardiner, Mr. Wickham, and Caroline Bingley.

If there is something that is universal, it is that we often don’t achieve our goals in dialogue. So let’s look specifically at why Mr. Collins does not achieve his persuasive goals, despite using appeals that can be effective.

1894 illustration of Mr. Collins’ proposal by Hugh Thompson, public domain

Let’s consider his first paragraph:

“Believe me, my dear Miss Elizabeth, that your modesty, so far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other perfections. You would have been less amiable in my eyes had there not been this little unwillingness.”

Pathos #1: Collins attempts to appeal to Elizabeth’s emotions by complimenting and flattering her. He does not recognize that she is not interested in flattery.

but allow me to assure you, that I have your respected mother’s permission for this address.

Ethos #1: he appeals to authority by explaining that he has her mother’s permission to address her. Yet her mother is not a true authority in her life: Elizabeth is much more likely to heed her father, and she also likes to go her own way.

You can hardly doubt the purport of my discourse, however your natural delicacy may lead you to dissemble; my attentions have been too marked to be mistaken. Almost as soon as I entered the house, I singled you out as the companion of my future life. But before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject, perhaps it would be advisable for me to state my reasons for marrying—and, moreover, for coming into Hertfordshire with the design of selecting a wife, as I certainly did.”

Pathos #2: “Run away with by my feelings.” This is an expression that points to emotions without actually conveying any, and further, it doesn’t match his persona. There is a lack of alignment between himself as a speaker and this rhetorical flourish, and in the following line, we learn that Elizabeth finds this lack of alignment amusing.

The idea of Mr. Collins, with all his solemn composure, being run away with by his feelings, made Elizabeth so near laughing, that she could not use the short pause he allowed in any attempt to stop him further, and he continued:

“My reasons for marrying are, first, that I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like myself) to set the example of matrimony in his parish;

Logos #1: he makes a logical argument, on why, in general, clergymen should marry. Yet this sort of abstract argument presents a sort of fallacy—it does not follow that Elizabeth should marry him.

secondly, that I am convinced that it will add very greatly to my happiness;

Pathos #3: he, personally, wants happiness. Self-centered arguments are often less effective.

and thirdly—which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier, that it is the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honour of calling patroness. Twice has she condescended to give me her opinion (unasked too!) on this subject; and it was but the very Saturday night before I left Hunsford—between our pools at quadrille, while Mrs. Jenkinson was arranging Miss de Bourgh’s footstool, that she said, ‘Mr. Collins, you must marry. A clergyman like you must marry. Choose properly, choose a gentlewoman for my sake; and for your own, let her be an active, useful sort of person, not brought up high, but able to make a small income go a good way. This is my advice. Find such a woman as soon as you can, bring her to Hunsford, and I will visit her.’ Allow me, by the way, to observe, my fair cousin, that I do not reckon the notice and kindness of Lady Catherine de Bourgh as among the least of the advantages in my power to offer. You will find her manners beyond anything I can describe; and your wit and vivacity, I think, must be acceptable to her, especially when tempered with the silence and respect which her rank will inevitably excite.

Ethos #2: Mr. Collins pulls out what he believes is his strongest argument. To him, the ultimate authority on all matters is Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

In order for this argument to work, Elizabeth would need to share an implicit assumption—that Lady Catherine is an authority figure.

Yet Elizabeth has never even met Lady Catherine…and further, Elizabeth does not believe that those of a superior rank are innately superior to her.

Thus much for my general intention in favour of matrimony; it remains to be told why my views were directed towards Longbourn instead of my own neighbourhood, where I can assure you there are many amiable young women. But the fact is, that being, as I am, to inherit this estate after the death of your honoured father (who, however, may live many years longer), I could not satisfy myself without resolving to choose a wife from among his daughters, that the loss to them might be as little as possible, when the melancholy event takes place—which, however, as I have already said, may not be for several years. This has been my motive, my fair cousin, and I flatter myself it will not sink me in your esteem.

Logos #2 and Pathos #4: From a logical standpoint, wanting to save a family from financial ruin when you have no obligations to them is a charitable and kindly thing to do. “Look at my good motives!” he says.

And now nothing remains for me but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection.

Pathos #5: Ah, such violent emotions! Which just goes to show that the addition of adjectives doesn’t always help or prove your case.

To fortune I am perfectly indifferent, and shall make no demand of that nature on your father, since I am well aware that it could not be complied with; and that one thousand pounds in the four per cents, which will not be yours till after your mother’s decease, is all that you may ever be entitled to. On that head, therefore, I shall be uniformly silent; and you may assure yourself that no ungenerous reproach shall ever pass my lips when we are married.”

Apophasis: Here Mr. Collins pulls out a really fun rhetorical device, apophasis, which is talking about something by saying you’re not going to talk about it. In other words, he is denying that it matters to him—yet if it truly did not matter at all to him, would he mention it? And he clearly knows exactly how much Elizabeth is worth financially…

As the scene proceeds, Elizabeth turns down Mr. Collins. He attempts to make more arguments, and she becomes more forceful in his rejections.

Ultimately, Mr. Collins’ persuasion fails because he doesn’t understand his audience. It is almost impossible to persuade someone unless you can really understand them, and their perspective. It is almost impossible to persuade someone unless you share implicit assumptions.

It’s easy to assume that people are like us. That the arguments that would work on us would work on them.

It’s also easy to assume that adding more arguments, more proof, will better help us reach our goals. Yet these nine instances of ethos, pathos, and logos were not enough—in fact, some of them directly hurt his cause.

If Mr. Collins wanted Elizabeth to marry him, the heavy work of persuasion would’ve needed to be fulfilled before this. (And often, the most persuasive arguments are made a little at a time.)

Yet ultimately, I don’t think there is a single argument Mr. Collins could have made that would have convinced Elizabeth to marry him. Even the best persuasion won’t persuade someone if they aren’t open to change.

You may write the rare character who is generally persuasive. Yet most of our characters have moments where they fail at their goals—where tension and conflict are created by them trying to persuade others, but not doing so in effective ways.

Certainly our Collins-esque characters should struggle with persuasion, but so should our Elizabeths and Darcys and Wickhams.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Ethos

In your personal life, consider what gives someone ethos, or authority and credibility. Who are you most willing to listen to? Who are you least willing to listen to? Are there certain attributes that give someone credibility to you? Are there certain attributes that immediately damage someone’s credibility? Are there certain authority figures you are more inclined to trust or distrust?

Exercise 2: Bad Arguments

Choose something simple that a character might want to persuade another character of. For example, persuading a friend to go to a movie, an acquaintance to make travel plans, or a child to eat their dinner.

Now set a timer for three minutes and make a list of as many bad arguments as possible for this persuasive tasks. These arguments can be mildly bad or extremely bad, preposterous or mostly reasonable, generally unpersuasive or unpersuasive specifically with these characters.

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #56: Times and Seasons of Creativity

#56: Times and Seasons of Creativity

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #56: Times and Seasons of Creativity

Writers and other creatives often feel the pressure to be creating constantly. Praise is extolled upon those who are able to draft quickly, revise quickly, and publish often.

I am naturally a slow writer. My ideas need time to simmer and develop, and I can’t rush the drafting process. At times, the pressure to be a fast writer has made me feel inadequate or insecure, or I’ve felt jealous of those with a faster process.

At other times, life has interfered with my creativity: sicknesses and other challenges can force creative projects into little scraps of low-energy time, or sometimes even cause creative projects to be put on hold.

This, of course, can be discouraging. However, I’m encouraged by looking at Jane Austen’s life and writing.

Let’s consider a few snapshots of Jane Austen’s writing life:

1787-1799: The Early Years

  • 1787-1793: Juvenilia
  • 1793-1795: Lady Susan
  • 1796-1798: Elinor and Marianne; First Impressions
  • 1798-1799: Northanger Abbey

This is a very productive period of writing for Jane Austen. During her teenage years, she wrote many short pieces of various genres and styles, and she shared these pieces with her family. These works are now known as her Juvenilia.

Then she moved on to longer, more developed works—Lady Susan, Elinor and Marianne, First Impressions, and Northanger Abbey.

1800-1809: Years of Struggle

  • Some revisions of Lady Susan and Northanger Abbey
  • 1804: started The Watsons

This period in Jane Austen’s life stands in stark contrast to the prior years. She did some revisions on both Lady Susan and Northanger Abbey, and while both books were sold to publishers, neither were published. She started the book The Watsons, but then abandoned it, leaving it unfinished. She may have done some additional revisions on her other works, and she did continue to write letters, but it was much slower period of writing for Jane Austen.

Why did she write less?

The answer was simple: Life was difficult for Jane Austen during these years.

First, her father uprooted their family to Bath. Jane Austen did not like living in Bath, and her days were filled with social obligations and responsibilities that were difficult to escape.

Then her father died. His death caused Jane Austen to abandon The Watsons—she could not work on it any longer. It also began a period of severe financial insecurity. Jane Austen moved from place to place, often having to rely on others for a place to stay and struggling to have enough for the basic necessities. It is little wonder that she was not able to make much progress on her writing.

1809-1817: The Chawton Years

  • 1809: Moved to Chawton
  • 1811: Sense and Sensibility
  • 1813: Pride and Prejudice
  • 1814: Mansfield Park
  • 1815: Emma
  • 1817: Persuasion; Sanditon (unfinished)

Jane Austen’s brother Edward had been adopted (became the heir) for distant relatives in Chawton. In 1809, he invited Jane and several other family members to live in a cottage on the estate. Suddenly, Jane Austen had security. She had a home. And she had the space and the time to write.

She revised Elinor and Marianne—which she had originally written between 1796 and 1798—and published it as Sense and Sensibility. She rewrote First Impressions as Pride and Prejudice. And then she wrote three new novels: Mansfield Park, Emma, and Persuasion. She began the novel Sanditon, but did not finish it before her death.

Times and Seasons of Writing

We each have times and seasons of writing, and it’s important to treat ourselves with compassion and understanding. We will have times, like the decade in Jane Austen’s life, where it is more difficult to write, where life circumstances create additional challenges for creativity. We might even have years where we cannot actively work on our creative goals.

In another post, I wrote about how even at Chawton, Jane Austen had to actively work to create space for writing in her life. Even in seasons of writing, it takes active work to give time to writing, and writing may still not be easy.

I also like to remember that it’s okay if certain projects take time to reach their final form. Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice are two of the most important novels in English literature, and two of my favorite novels. And they were not written quickly. They required writing and re-envisioning and rewriting over a 17-year period.

Like Jane, life may at times interfere with our writing. But like Jane, we will have fertile seasons of writing. Like Jane, we can tell our stories and share them with the world.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Write the story of your creative journey. What has led you to be the writer you are today? Which times and seasons of your life have been more or less creative? Is there anything from the less creative periods of your life that has helped you with your writing?

Exercise 2: Take a project that you set aside, perhaps years ago. Spend a few minutes considering it. If you were going to rewrite it today, how would you approach it differently?

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #49: When to Use Dialogue Tags (and How)

#49: When to Use Dialogue Tags (and How)

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #49: When to Use Dialogue Tags (and How)

Jane Austen is a master of dialogue, and the next series of lessons will focus on what we can learn from Jane Austen on writing dialogue in fiction. This post will specifically address when to use dialogue tags—and how.

While dialogue tags are often taught as an introductory writing technique, Austen uses them in advanced ways, to control rhythm and cadence, and to convey emotion and conflict. Many times, she chooses to forgo dialogue tags entirely. We’ll start with a basic definition of dialogue tags, analyze her sophisticated use of tags in a passage from Pride and Prejudice, and consider the question of when to use dialogue tags, and when to omit them entirely.

Dialogue Tag Definition. Dialogue: a phrase that identifies the speaker of a passage of dialogue

A dialogue tag is a phrase that identifies the speaker of a passage of dialogue.

In English, the most commonly used dialogue tag is the word “said” accompanied by the name of a character or a pronoun.

Often dialogue tags are used for clarity and to prevent confusion. Dialogue tags can also be used to add a pause, or to describe how or why a character is speaking.

Instead of using a dialogue tag, an action beat can be used—if a character is acting or doing something, then we assume that the dialogue within the passage also belongs to them.

Dialogue Tag Example: The Meryton Assembly

The Meryton assembly is the first time that we meet the single and ever-so-desirable characters, Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy.

Consider the use of dialogue tags and action beats in this passage in which Mr. Bingley attempts to convince Mr. Darcy to dance:

“Come, Darcy,” said he, “I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance.”

“I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this, it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.”

“I would not be so fastidious as you are,” cried Bingley, “for a kingdom! Upon my honour, I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty.”

“You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,” said Mr. Darcy, looking at the eldest Miss Bennet.

“Oh! she is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you.”

“Which do you mean?” and turning round, he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said, “She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me.”

In this passage, there are three dialogue tags which use said: said he, said Mr. Darcy, and coldly said. There is one dialogue tag which uses a different verb: cried Bingley. This shows both Mr. Bingley’s emotion and the manner in which he is speaking. There is one spot where an action beat is used instead of a dialogue tag: “Which do you mean?” and turning round, he looked for a moment at Elizabeth… (This phrasing works well in Pride and Prejudice, but as a note, modern dialogue conventions often—but not always—split the action beat into a separate sentence. If this convention was used, this paragraph could be written something like: “Which do you mean?” He turned round and looked for a moment at Elizabeth.)

Using Said vs. Other Dialogue Tags

Using Said vs. Other Dialogue Tags

The author Elliott Slaughter performed a study of dialogue tags, and one of the texts that he analyzed was Pride and Prejudice. He found that 50% of Austen’s dialogue tags used the word “said.”

In English, “said” is seen as an invisible dialogue tag. It does its job, assigning dialogue to the speaker, but we aren’t meant to really notice or pay attention to it. Often, we don’t want the reader to be focusing on the dialogue tag—we want them to focus on the dialogue itself, and strong dialogue often gives a feel of how the speaker is speaking on its own, without extra description. In the brilliant book Craft in the Real World, Matthew Salesses explains that said being seen as invisible is just a cultural convention, and is not inherently better or right. Non-native English speakers sometimes find the constant use of the word said to be jarring, while those who have read hundreds of books in English become used to it.

Endless authors and books on writing recommend that writers primarily use the word said in dialogue tags, and to use other verbs minimally or not at all. Largely, I agree—a lot of the time, you do want the dialogue tag to be invisible, and if you’re constantly using other verbs, it can distract or become annoying. Yet when we read Pride and Prejudice we can see how effectively Austen uses other dialogue tags.

According to Elliott Slaughter, while 50% of Austen’s dialogue tags use the word said, 32% of the time she uses “functional dialogue tags”—tags which “indicate the function or role of a piece of dialogue.” The functional dialogue tags Austen uses include replied, added, continued, thought, repeated, and answered. Another common functional dialogue tag in fiction is asked. 18% of the time Austen uses “descriptive dialogue tags”—“verbs that describe the manner, mood or inflection of the speech and not simply its function or form.” The descriptive dialogue tags used by Austen include cried, observed, exclaimed, called, and whispered.

In a previous Jane Austen Writing Lesson, I talked in more depth about how characters say lines of dialogue; one method of doing so is to incorporate actions or adverbs. The only thing I’ll add here is an extra detail from Slaughter’s study—at 14 points in Pride and Prejudice, Austen uses an adverb to describe how someone says something. The adverbs she uses include impatiently, warmly, drily, stoutly, and resentfully.

In the passage between Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley, there were two paragraphs of dialogue that did not include any dialogue tags or action beats. The paragraph that begins “I certainly shall not” is Mr. Darcy’s dialogue, while the paragraph that begins “Oh! she is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld!” is Mr. Bingley’s.

Omitting a dialogue tag focuses the reader on what the characters are saying, and it increases the pace by which we read the dialogue. In Austen’s novels, dialogue tags are used only if they are necessary for comprehension, if they will positively impact the rhythm or cadence, or if they truly add something to the reader’s understanding of the characters and their conversation. The rest of the time, she does not include dialogue tags.

In Elliott Slaughter’s study on dialogue tags in Pride and Prejudice, he found that for 51% of the dialogue, Austen does not use a dialogue tag or any sort of attribution. This is especially common during conversations between two characters. In some passages, the identity of the speakers will be made clear once, either at the start of the conversation or in the actions before the conversation, and then Austen will give five, six, or ten lines of dialogue without any tags or attributions. While it’s easiest to omit dialogue tags if there are only two characters, Austen often omits tags in conversations with larger groups of characters.

In a later scene in Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy’s makes a declaration on Mr. Bingley’s tractability, and then we read:

“You have only proved by this,” cried Elizabeth, “that Mr. Bingley did not do justice to his own disposition. You have shown him off now much more than he did himself.”

“I am exceedingly gratified,” said Bingley, “by your converting what my friend says into a compliment on the sweetness of my temper. But I am afraid you are giving it a turn which that gentleman did by no means intend; for he would certainly think the better of me, if under such a circumstance I were to give a flat denial, and ride off as fast as I could.”

“Would Mr. Darcy then consider the rashness of your original intention as atoned for by your obstinacy in adhering to it?”

“Upon my word, I cannot exactly explain the matter, Darcy must speak for himself.”

“You expect me to account for opinions which you choose to call mine, but which I have never acknowledged. Allowing the case, however, to stand according to your representation, you must remember, Miss Bennet, that the friend who is supposed to desire his return to the house, and the delay of his plan, has merely desired it, asked it without offering one argument in favour of its propriety.”

“To yield readily—easily—to the persuasion of a friend is no merit with you.”

“To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either.”

The first two paragraphs include dialogue tags, for Elizabeth and Mr. Bingley, but then the rest of this dialogue we can assume by context that the lines belong to Elizabeth, Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth, and then Mr. Darcy. Descriptions of how these characters are speaking is not necessary—we know them and can make assumptions on their tone and mannerisms based solely on what they say.

There are a few places in Pride and Prejudice where the speaker is unclear, which has led to rather exciting scholarly debates. In a letter about Pride and Prejudice which Jane Austen wrote to her sister Cassandra, she said,

There are a few typical errors; and a “said he,” or a “said she,” would sometimes make the dialogue more immediately clear; but “I do not write for such dull elves” as have not a great deal of ingenuity themselves.

While Austen wished she had added a few more uses of “said he” and “said she,” the fact is that there are 633 lines of dialogue in Pride and Prejudice which do not include dialogue tags, and, with a few possible exceptions, they are not necessary in these passages. As you consider what sorts of dialogue tags you want to use in your own writing, consider also when to use dialogue tags, and when to omit them.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Dialogue Analysis

Choose a book that you admire written by an author who is not Jane Austen. Take a scene or a chapter and analyze the author’s use of dialogue tags. How often do they use the verb said? Do they also use other verbs as dialogue tags? Are action beats used instead of, or in addition to, dialogue tags. Are adverbs or other descriptions of how the character speak used? How often are dialogue tags omitted?

Exercise 2: Omitting Dialogue Tags

Take a scene of dialogue you have written and see how dialogue tags and action beats you can remove without making it unclear who is speaking.

Exercise 3: Dialogue as Style

How you use dialogue tags is an extension of your style as a writer—the choices you consistently make contribute to the overall style of the text. Write a brief scene of dialogue between two to four characters. Now, revise the scene using two different dialogue tag styles. Here are a few options:

  • Style 1: Use only invisible dialogue tags (i.e. said) and omit other dialogue tags.
  • Style 2: Lean heavy on action beats, though other dialogue tags are allowed.
  • Style 3: Jane Austen style. Omit about half the dialogue tags; when you do use dialogue tags, have about half of them be the verb said and half be other verbs.
  • Style 4: Wide range of tags. Use at least one said, one functional dialogue tag (i.e. asked, replied, etc.), one descriptive dialogue tag (i.e. cried, whispered, exclaimed, or said + adverb), and one action beat.
  • Style 5: Another approach to dialogue tags of your choosing.

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