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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #63: Four More Internal Emotion Techniques

#63: Four More Internal Emotion Techniques

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #63: Four More Internal Emotion Techniques

In Jane Austen’s novel, Northanger Abbey, the character of Catherine Morland is filled with emotions, so much so that she is sometimes carried away in flights of fancy. Austen uses many of the techniques we’ve already talked about to plant clues to her emotional state, including sharing character thoughts, free indirect speech, relationship to setting as a window into emotion, concrete actions and behavior, awareness/lack of awareness, body language, verbs and adjectives, and dialogue.

There are four more key techniques that Jane Austen uses to convey emotion. These techniques work best for viewpoint characters, because they often require being in the character’s head. They are tools that can be applied for both very emotive characters, like Catherine Morland, and for characters that keep their emotions more concealed, subdued, and in check, like Elinor Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility.

Additional Internal Emotion Techniques (which are especially useful for viewpoint characters

  1. Punctuation, Syntax, and Rhythm
  2. Pointing to the past and/or to the future
  3. Repetition
  4. Physical sensation and internal physical sensation

We’ll consider two scenes from Northanger Abbey that demonstrate these four internal emotion techniques.

Internal Emotion Technique 1: Punctuation, Syntax, and Rhythm

Punctuation, syntax, and rhythm can be a powerful tool for conveying emotion, especially when the punctuation, syntax, and rhythm are markedly different from other sentences, passages, or scenes.

In Northanger Abbey, Catherine has met many new acquaintances. In particular, she has fallen for a certain Henry Tilney, and she has also become friends with Henry’s sister, Eleanor.

Eleanor wants a companion, so she and her father, General Tilney, invite Catherine to come stay with them at their home, Northanger Abbey. The narrator then gives us a sense of Catherine’s reaction. Take note of the punctuation, the syntax, and the rhythm that is employed:

Northanger Abbey! These were thrilling words, and wound up Catherine’s feelings to the highest point of ecstasy. Her grateful and gratified heart could hardly restrain its expressions within the language of tolerable calmness. To receive so flattering an invitation! To have her company so warmly solicited! Everything honourable and soothing, every present enjoyment, and every future hope was contained in it; and her acceptance, with only the saving clause of Papa and Mamma’s approbation, was eagerly given. “I will write home directly,” said she, “and if they do not object, as I dare say they will not—”

Note the heavy use of exclamation marks, the short sentences and other phrases that build with rapid commas, and the way that the rhythm builds to match her excitement.

Exclamation marks and commas aren’t the only punctuation marks Jane Austen employs to convey emotion—at other points in her novel she uses em dashes, question marks, and periods in revelatory ways. Long and short sentences, sentences with broken rhythm and smooth, sentences which feel like poetry—all of these are tools Austen uses to impact the reader’s experience of the character’s lived experience.

In a prior post, I analyzed Emma’s large discoveries near the end of the novel Emma. These discoveries show her that she has been wrong in so many ways, and this realization impacts her emotions. If you reread those passages, you see that punctuation, syntax, and rhythm are constantly in play to help us understand Emma’s experience.

While punctuation, syntax, and rhythm are especially useful at conveying the emotion of the viewpoint character, they can also be used to for non-viewpoint characters, but typically only in their dialogue. (We have no way of knowing their internal thoughts, but the way the punctuation, syntax, and rhythm of how they speak can definitely be effected by their emotions.)

Internal Emotion Technique 2: Pointing to the Past and/or the Future

In a previous lesson, we talked about how we can access a viewpoint character’s thoughts on a subject, and this can be used to reveal emotion. This technique is an extension of that. An extremely effective way to reveal emotion is to have a character think of something that happened in the past or in the future.

Past events can be ones which we experienced earlier in the novel. Pointing again to them creates emotional resonance between those events and the new passage. It can show the character creating meaning or connection, for good or for bad. It can recall prior emotions, or reinterpret past emotions into something new.

You can also point to past events that did not occur in the novel—that happened before the pages. This provides backstory, it paints a fuller picture of the character’s lives, and it can also illuminate why something might impact a character in a certain way.

The next passage is a little later in the same scene, after the Tilneys have invited Catherine to visit Northanger Abbey. In this passage, Catherine looks back on all her experiences in Bath, even the ones that were not always positive (some of the scenes with her friend Isabella were rather fraught) in a rosy light, as leading to this moment. How she is analyzing and calling upon the past gives a strong sense for her present emotional state.

The circumstances of the morning had led Catherine’s feelings through the varieties of suspense, security, and disappointment; but they were now safely lodged in perfect bliss; and with spirits elated to rapture, with Henry at her heart, and Northanger Abbey on her lips, she hurried home to write her letter….By the kindness of her first friends, the Allens, she had been introduced into scenes where pleasures of every kind had met her. Her feelings, her preferences, had each known the happiness of a return. Wherever she felt attachment, she had been able to create it. The affection of Isabella was to be secured to her in a sister. The Tilneys, they, by whom, above all, she desired to be favourably thought of, outstripped even her wishes in the flattering measures by which their intimacy was to be continued.

The paragraph continues by pointing to the future. Catherine immediately begins imagining and envisioning what her experience at Northanger Abbey might look like.

She was to be their chosen visitor, she was to be for weeks under the same roof with the person whose society she mostly prized—and, in addition to all the rest, this roof was to be the roof of an abbey! Her passion for ancient edifices was next in degree to her passion for Henry Tilney—and castles and abbeys made usually the charm of those reveries which his image did not fill. To see and explore either the ramparts and keep of the one, or the cloisters of the other, had been for many weeks a darling wish, though to be more than the visitor of an hour had seemed too nearly impossible for desire. And yet, this was to happen. With all the chances against her of house, hall, place, park, court, and cottage, Northanger turned up an abbey, and she was to be its inhabitant. Its long, damp passages, its narrow cells and ruined chapel, were to be within her daily reach, and she could not entirely subdue the hope of some traditional legends, some awful memorials of an injured and ill-fated nun.

Pointing to the future is a powerful tool to convey emotion, because it can reveal what a character expects, what they hope for or fear, whether they are high strung or analytical or relaxed. A character has no way of knowing what the future will actually hold, but how they think about the future reveals their current state.

Once again, this is a tool that is largely used for viewpoint characters.

Internal Emotion Technique 3: Repetition

Repetition is a powerful tool. Jane Austen uses repetition of action, of thought, of imagery, of attention, of words, and of certain sounds. You can repeat anything, as long as it creates a building sensation.

Repetition can connect things together. It shows what the character is focusing on, what their thoughts can’t avoid, what they keep coming back to. It can create rhythm, it can call back to something from earlier, or it can further develop an emotion or thought.

In the previous scene, we already saw the repetition of the word every (emphasis added):

Everything honourable and soothing, every present enjoyment, and every future hope was contained in it.

Later, when Catherine is at Northanger Abbey, she has a frightening night in her bedroom, partly because she has convinced herself that frightening things have happened in this space.

She wonders what is in an old-fashioned cabinet, and throughout the scene, she tries to open it again and again—a repetition of action. There is also a repetition of her experiencing the wind. Some characters might notice that it’s stormy, and it’s mentioned once, but in this scene, wind is mentioned again and again, and each time it shows the building of her emotions.

The window curtains seemed in motion. It could be nothing but the violence of the wind penetrating through the divisions of the shutters; and she stepped boldly forward, carelessly humming a tune, to assure herself of its being so, peeped courageously behind each curtain, saw nothing on either low window seat to scare her, and on placing a hand against the shutter, felt the strongest conviction of the wind’s force. 

A little later in the scene we read:

The wind roared down the chimney, the rain beat in torrents against the windows, and everything seemed to speak the awfulness of her situation. 

And again:

A violent gust of wind, rising with sudden fury, added fresh horror to the moment.

Later still:

She had not been used to feel alarm from wind, but now every blast seemed fraught with awful intelligence.

And one final reference to the wind:

The storm still raged, and various were the noises, more terrific even than the wind, which struck at intervals on her startled ear.

In early drafts, I sometimes include unneeded repetition. I’ll accidentally repeat a word or a phrase, I’ll start too many sentences in the same way, or I’ll have a character do the same thing twice for no reason. I always try to cut the accidental repetitions. The intentional repetitions can be powerful, though I always test them on readers to make sure my use of repetition is building something rather feeling like sloppy writing.

There is a myriad of ways you can use repetition for viewpoint characters. For non-viewpoint characters, repetition is most likely to be seen either in their dialogue or the in repeated actions.

Internal Emotion Technique 4: Physical sensation and internal physical sensation

For viewpoint characters and non-viewpoint characters alike, a character’s actions, behavior, and body language are a strong indicator of their emotions. Does a character drop a letter, walk slowly, run up the stairs, or fidget restlessly? Each of these can be an outward expression of their internal state.

For viewpoint characters, we can also use their physical sensations—things happening to their body—and their internal physical sensations—things happening inside the body that other characters cannot possibly know.

The following paragraph is from the scene with the wind, while Catherine is trying to open the cabinet. I’ve bolded a sentence that reveals Catherine’s physical sensations.

It was some time however before she could unfasten the door, the same difficulty occurring in the management of this inner lock as of the outer; but at length it did open; and not vain, as hitherto, was her search; her quick eyes directly fell on a roll of paper pushed back into the further part of the cavity, apparently for concealment, and her feelings at that moment were indescribable. Her heart fluttered, her knees trembled, and her cheeks grew pale. She seized, with an unsteady hand, the precious manuscript, for half a glance sufficed to ascertain written characters

Catherine is feeling her heart flutter. Her knees are trembling. And her cheeks are growing pale. Each of these physical sensations are her body’s manifestations of her emotion.

Her heart fluttering is a truly internal physical sensation. It is inside her body, and it effects and reflects her experience when she finally manages to open the cabinet.

Her cheeks growing pale is also a physical sensation, though it has an external component that other characters could notice, were they in the room. Her knees trembling is a physical sensation that would be rather unlikely for other characters to notice, but possible in certain situations.

Regardless, these are all physical sensations belonging to our viewpoint character that are part of her experience and are fair game for the narrator to mention.

If you want a resource on how to write about internal and external physical sensations, as well as body language and actions that might reflect certain emotions, I highly recommend the book The Emotion Thesaurus.

While some authors rely heavily on physical sensation and internal physical sensation to convey emotions, Jane Austen uses it sparingly. However, when she uses it, she does so to great effect.

Conclusion

There are so many tools that can be used to convey a character’s emotions. For viewpoint characters, we have the additional opportunity to submerse ourselves into their emotions, by using tools that aren’t as readily available to use on non-viewpoint characters, such as internal physical sensations, repetition, pointing to the past or future, and syntax.

In the next lesson we’ll look at the size or degree of emotions—the differences between conveying small, medium, and large emotions. I hope that you’ll join me!

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Chart your own physical sensations

Over the course of a day or a morning, record your own physical sensations and internal physical sensations. Did you touch something scratchy? Did something taste sour? Did the chair feel hard? Did your knee itch? Did your eyes feel unfocused? Did your back hurt? Did you lose your balance?

If relevant, jot down a word or two that captures your emotional state at the time. Was your physical sensation reflecting your emotions at the time? Did your physical sensations contrast your emotions? Did your physical sensations and internal physical sensations change your emotions?

Consider what you learned about physical sensations and emotions, and how you can incorporate that into your own writing.

Exercise 2: Finding a Place to Live

Write a brief scene in which a character is touring apartments or other places to live. In this scene, try to incorporate each of the techniques talked about in this lesson:

  1. Punctuation, Syntax, and Rhythm
  2. Pointing to the past and/or to the future
  3. Repetition
  4. Physical sensation and internal physical sensation

Exercise 3: Emotion Revision

Take a scene in a story you are writing and see if you are incorporating any of these techniques. If so, are there ways you could strengthen your use of the technique? If not, at what points would one or more of these techniques be useful? Now revise the scene.

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #54: When to Summarize Dialogue

#54: When to Summarize Dialogue

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #54: When to Summarize Dialogue

A common writing aphorism is “show don’t tell.” When it comes to dialogue, it is often powerful to show the dialogue in its entirety: to hear what the characters say and how they say it.

Yet while Jane Austen is a master of dialogue, there are countless moments throughout her novels when she chooses to summarize dialogue rather than showing it in scene.

Jane Austen summarizes dialogue when doing so better serves her storytelling purposes.

To consider what purposes summarizing dialogue could serve, let’s analyze a scene from Northanger Abbey.

Summarizing Dialogue in Northanger Abbey

Near the end of Northanger Abbey, Catherine Morland is unceremoniously thrown out of Northanger Abbey by an angry General Tilney. When she arrives home, she tells her family what happened. Soon, they meet up with her friends, the Allens, and they too must hear the story.

What is interesting in this passage is that Jane Austen does not show us the full scene. Instead, she intermixes telling (in this case through summary) with showing.

In the first paragraph of the scene, Austen summarizes the entire interaction, giving a bird’s eye view of what occurred, with narrator interpretation. Then we are brought to near the beginning of the scene in order to hear Catherine’s mother, Mrs. Morland, tells the story, giving her dialogue line by line.

[Catherine] was received by the Allens with all the kindness which her unlooked-for appearance, acting on a steady affection, would naturally call forth; and great was their surprise, and warm their displeasure, on hearing how she had been treated—though Mrs. Morland’s account of it was no inflated representation, no studied appeal to their passions. “Catherine took us quite by surprise yesterday evening,” said she. “She travelled all the way post by herself, and knew nothing of coming till Saturday night; for General Tilney, from some odd fancy or other, all of a sudden grew tired of having her there, and almost turned her out of the house. Very unfriendly, certainly; and he must be a very odd man; but we are so glad to have her amongst us again! And it is a great comfort to find that she is not a poor helpless creature, but can shift very well for herself.”

The summary at the start of the paragraph frames the conversation—it tells us what happened, and what to look for in the responses. It also offers insights into their characters, particularly in light of how they react in response to what is a plain, unstudied account of the events. Then we see, in scene, the exact four sentences of dialogue that Mrs. Morland used to tell the story.

This paragraph is followed by another paragraph of mostly summary. When there are direct quotes, they are statements that the characters say multiple times, and their inclusion is used as an example of the type of response that Mr. and Mrs. Allen make:

Mr. Allen expressed himself on the occasion with the reasonable resentment of a sensible friend; and Mrs. Allen thought his expressions quite good enough to be immediately made use of again by herself. His wonder, his conjectures, and his explanations became in succession hers, with the addition of this single remark—“I really have not patience with the general”—to fill up every accidental pause. And, “I really have not patience with the general,” was uttered twice after Mr. Allen left the room, without any relaxation of anger, or any material digression of thought.

The conversation then turns to Mrs. Allen’s recollections of Bath. This conversation is shown in scene, with each line of dialogue included by Austen. Mrs. Allen explains that she had her gown with Mechlin lace mended, and then she elaborates on their experiences in Bath and the Assembly rooms. To each statement, Catherine gives only short responses, because this conversation is bringing to mind her love interest, Mr. Henry Tilney, which also reminds her that Henry’s father, the General, has just thrown her out.

In the next two paragraphs we have dialogue from Mrs. Tilney on Bath, followed by a sentence of dialogue summary, followed by more dialogue from Mrs. Tilney:

“It was very agreeable, was not it? Mr. Tilney drank tea with us, and I always thought him a great addition, he is so very agreeable. I have a notion you danced with him, but am not quite sure. I remember I had my favourite gown on.”

Catherine could not answer; and, after a short trial of other subjects, Mrs. Allen again returned to—“I really have not patience with the general! Such an agreeable, worthy man as he seemed to be!”

The summary phrase is of note: Catherine could not answer and after a short trial of other subjects. The use of summary here emphasizes that Catherine is struggling to hold this conversation, because everything connects back to the Tilneys. Mrs. Allen tries introducing other subjects—and the exact subjects they try speaking about are not included, because they aren’t actually relevant to the story. But summarizing the fact that she tries various conversation topics shows how very difficult this is for Catherine—the Tilneys are what dominates her mind, and it is difficult for her to speak of them, but also difficult for her to speak of anything else.

There are a number of reasons to summarize dialogue rather than to show it in scene.

The Most Common Reasons Jane Austen Summarizes Dialogue

The most common reasons Austen summarizes dialogue:

  1. To show the passage of time.
  2. To condense unimportant dialogue.
  3. To focus the reader on the most important dialogue.
  4. To give interpretation of the dialogue, and provide commentary on the scene.
  5. To draw us into the lens and perspective of the narrator OR to draw us into the perspective of the character.

Whenever I am writing a scene where the dialogue is not quite working, one of the questions I ask myself is: Would part of this dialogue be more useful if it was conveyed through summary? Summarizing dialogue is another useful tool that can be used to powerful effect.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Write a short scene that consists largely of dialogue between two characters. However, there’s a catch. For one of the characters you can include the dialogue, but for the second character, you can only summarize their dialogue. Try to give a feel for the second character’s dialogue and its effect even though you cannot include the dialogue itself.

Exercise 2: In film, dialogue is rarely summarized: because of the conventions of the medium, it is almost always shown in scene. Find a dialogue-heavy scene in a film and rewrite this scene in prose. Include a significant portion of the lines of dialogue exactly as they were stated in the film, but then summarize other sections of the dialogue. What effects does this summary create? How is summarizing some of the dialogue useful?

Exercise 3: Take a draft that you have written and analyze the dialogue. Are there any full scenes of dialogue you could eliminate and replace with a summary? Are there scenes of dialogue where it would be advantageous to replace a small or large part of the dialogue with summary? Find at least one spot in your draft where dialogue summary would be useful and revise.

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons #50: Use Dialogue Tags for Rhythm and Cadence

#50: Use Dialogue Tags for Rhythm and Cadence

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons #50: Use Dialogue Tags for Rhythm and Cadence

In Northanger Abbey, Catherine Morland and her friend Isabella Thorpe are conversing in the Pump-Room, a building in the town of Bath that was a popular gathering place. For quite some time, they are watched by several men, but then the men leave. Isabella pretends that she is grateful for their departure; however, she is actually disappointed that they have left and secretly wants to follow them.

Isabella says:

“Well, I am amazingly glad I have got rid of them! And now, what say you to going to Edgar’s Buildings with me, and looking at my new hat? You said you should like to see it.”

Catherine readily agreed. “Only,” she added, “perhaps we may overtake the two young men.”

The key dialogue tag in this passage is she added. As we discussed in the previous lesson on dialogue tags, she added could be considered a functional dialogue tag, a dialogue tag which shows how what the character is saying is functioning within the larger conversation. First Catherine agrees with her friend, and then what she says adds to—and modifies—her previous statement.

Yet she added is doing more than just telling us the role that her statement plays in the conversation. Its placement controls the rhythm of the paragraph and indicates the cadence of Catherine’s speech.

Jane Austen regularly uses dialogue tags for rhythm and cadence, and doing so is a powerful tool that can be used in any fictional genre.

Let’s define rhythm and cadence as we’ll use them in this lesson.

Definitions: Rhythm and Cadence in Dialogue

Rhythm in dialogue: patterns of language and sound in a passage which create an underlying beat. Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Rhythm is patterns of language and sound in a passage which create an underlying beat. Poetry sometimes uses strict meters, or rhythm patterns, but there is rhythm in prose as well, and the beat and speed and emphasis created by the rhythm in prose effects both the feel and the speed at which we read. Rhythm is particularly important as we consider dialogue, for dialogue is meant to be spoken aloud. Rhythm can have a powerful effect on the reader both when a beat is created or when it is broken—interrupted.

Cadence is how a person’s voice changes as they speak, both rising and lowering. In most cases, a speaker’s voice is not level or flat across a passage of dialogue: tone and pitch and emphasis change with the content of what someone is saying, and how they feel about it.

Much of the rhythm and cadence of a passage of dialogue is determined by the words and phrasing of the dialogue itself, however, rhythm and cadence can also be impacted by the dialogue tags.

Let’s consider again the line from Northanger Abbey:

Catherine readily agreed. “Only,” she added, “perhaps we may overtake the two young men.”

We can almost hear Catherine’s cadence as we read. She agrees with her friend, probably saying something like, “Of course, I would love to join you.” And then we have an “Only,” she added. It reads almost as an interruption—she’s likely raised her voice slightly, and she’s pausing after it, as if she has just realized the problem with Isabella’s proposal.

During Isabella’s statement—the proposal of activities—and Catherine readily agreed we have a steady rhythm, almost a beat. It’s smooth, nothing accentuated. But then “Only,” she added breaks the smooth rhythm—the forced pause is like an orchestra suddenly stopping all sound for a beat, which adds emphasis to what comes after.

Dialogue Tag Placement

One of the most common techniques that Jane Austen uses to control rhythm and cadence is to choose where to use a dialogue tag, whether it’s a he said, said Catherine, or an action that substitutes for a dialogue tag.

Consider the following passage of dialogue, from the first time that Catherine Morland and Mr. Tilney meet at a ball:

Mr. Tilney was polite enough to seem interested in what she said; and she kept him on the subject of muslins till the dancing recommenced. Catherine feared, as she listened to their discourse, that he indulged himself a little too much with the foibles of others. – “What are you thinking of so earnestly?” said he, as they walked back to the ball-room;—“not of your partner, I hope, for by that shake of the head, your meditations are not satisfactory.”

Catherine coloured, and said, “I was not thinking of any thing.”

“That is artful and deep, to be sure; but I had rather be told at once that you will not tell me.”

If a dialogue tag is used, there are three primary places where it can be placed: before the dialogue, partway through the dialogue (often after a word, sentence, or phrase), and after the dialogue.

One approach that Austen particularly seems to favor is providing the tag partway through the dialogue. This allows a build-up before the dialogue tag—we’re interested in what is being said. Then we are given a physical pause or beat that also serves to provide who is speaking and sometimes how they are speaking or what they are doing. This is followed by more dialogue, which completes the character’s self-expression.

Instead of placing the dialogue tag in the middle of the paragraph, Austen could have written:

As they walked back to the ballroom, Mr. Tilney said, “What are you thinking of so earnestly? Not of your partner, I hope, for by that shake of the head, your meditations are not satisfactory.”

This eliminates the pause after his question—he immediately says the next statement. It also eliminates some of the implied cadence—modulation of his tone—in his question.

The dialogue tag could also have been placed at the end:

“What are you thinking of so earnestly? Not of your partner, I hope, for by that shake of the head, your meditations are not satisfactory,” said Mr. Tilney as they walked back to the ballroom.

Often, a dialogue tag at the end works best for shorter pieces of dialogue—we don’t want to read five or six sentences of dialogue, and then find out who is speaking. This dialogue is of a length that works well with the tag at the end, but it has a different rhythm than what Austen has chosen:

“What are you thinking of so earnestly?” said he, as they walked back to the ball-room;—“not of your partner, I hope, for by that shake of the head, your meditations are not satisfactory.”

Now consider the placement of the dialogue tag in Catherine’s response:

Catherine coloured, and said, “I was not thinking of any thing.”

In part, placing it at the start is necessary, because Catherine blushes as an immediate response to his statement, and then she speaks. However, placing it at the start also impacts how we understand her tone and her volume—we assume she is embarrassed, and likely speaking more quietly, and more quickly, than earlier.

Unnecessary (Yet Rhythmically Appropriate) Dialogue Tags

Another technique that Austen uses is to incorporate dialogue tags that, strictly speaking, are unnecessary—we already know who is speaking, and the dialogue tag doesn’t provide information about the function of the dialogue, how the dialogue is spoken, what emotion is used, etc. Yet these “unnecessary” dialogue tags are used to impact either the rhythm, the cadence, or both.

Later in Northanger Abbey, John Thorpe decides to take Catherine Morland’s future into his own hands. He knows that Catherine has plans to do something with the Tilneys, but he wants Catherine to do something with him, so he goes to the Tilney’s and cancels Catherine’s engagement. He then informs Catherine that she is now available to do something with him:

“Now, my sweet Catherine, all our distresses are over; you are honourably acquitted, and we shall have a most delightful party.”

“This will not do,” said Catherine; “I cannot submit to this. I must run after Miss Tilney directly and set her right.”

The phrase said Catherine is unnecessary—it is clear that Catherine is speaking, and she just been directly addressed by Mr. Thorpe, so readers will assume that the next dialogue is Catherine’s. And, as discussed in the previous lesson on dialogue tags, Austen often omits dialogue tags in cases like this when it is clear who is speaking.

Yet including the dialogue effects the rhythm—we feel Catherine’s pause after her statement, which punctuates both “This will not do” and “I cannot submit to this.” It also affects her cadence. When I read this passage aloud, I naturally read “This will do not do” at a standard tone, and then I read “I cannot submit to this” a little higher and faster.

In Conclusion: The Power of Dialogue Tags

Dialogue tags are powerful. They can:

  • Attribute dialogue to a speaker

  • Indicate the function of a line of dialogue within a passage

  • Show how someone is speaking

  • Convey the emotion of a speaker or listener

  • Describe the actions that are taken in conjunction with the dialogue

And, as discussed in this lesson, dialogue tags can also

  • Impact the rhythm of the passage

  • Shift the cadence of the speakers

In the following passage, the dialogue tags do all of these things.

While walking on the street, Catherine has just run into her brother, James Morland, and his friend, John Thorpe. The men are theoretically speaking to Catherine, but they are truly speaking to each other:

[John Thorpe] took out his watch: “How long do you think we have been running it from Tetbury, Miss Morland?”

“I do not know the distance.” Her brother told her that it was twenty-three miles.

“Three-and-twenty!” cried Thorpe; “five-and-twenty if it is an inch.” Morland remonstrated, pleaded the authority of roadbooks, innkeepers, and milestones; but his friend disregarded them all; he had a surer test of distance. “I know it must be five-and-twenty,” said he, “by the time we have been doing it. It is now half after one; we drove out of the inn-yard at Tetbury as the town-clock struck eleven; and I defy any man in England to make my horse go less than ten miles an hour in harness; that makes it exactly twenty-five.”

“You have lost an hour,” said Morland; “it was only ten o’clock when we came from Tetbury.”

“Ten o’clock! it was eleven, upon my soul! I counted every stroke. This brother of yours would persuade me out of my senses, Miss Morland; do but look at my horse; did you ever see an animal so made for speed in your life?” (The servant had just mounted the carriage and was driving off.) “Such true blood! Three hours and a half indeed coming only three-and-twenty miles! look at that creature, and suppose it possible if you can.”

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Playing with another author’s dialogue tags

Another author… what types of dialogue tags do they use. Choose a passage with multiple dialogue tags and read it aloud. Now rewrite the passage with moved to different places and read it aloud.

Exercise 2: Every possible variation

Write a snatch of dialogue—one to three sentences of a single character speaking. Now try to create as many variations of it as possible without changing the words of the dialogue itself.

Things you can vary:

  • Placement of dialogue tag (beginning, middle, end)
  • Type of dialogue tag (said, a functional dialogue tag like replied or added, a descriptive dialogue like whispered)
  • Conveying emotion or how the character is speaking through the dialogue tag
  • Using adverbs or character actions
  • Using no dialogue tag at all

How many variations were you able to create? Read them aloud and consider how it affects the interpretation of the dialogue, as well as the rhythm and the cadence. Now choose your favorite. (Note: it’s normally important to consider the context—the passage or scene as a whole—when choosing how to use dialogue tags for a single unit of dialogue.)

Exercise 3: Adjusting your own rhythm and cadence

Choose a scene that you have written in a short story or novel which includes between two and four paragraphs or lines of sequential dialogue. Rewrite the passage to create a different rhythm and cadence. Now read aloud the original version followed by the new version. Which do you prefer and why?

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #39: Create a Progression of Knowledge Discovery

#39: Create a Progression of Knowledge Discovery

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #39: Create a Progression of Knowledge Discovery

In lesson 37, we talked giving your characters things to discover, and how this compels both the characters and the reader forward in the story. In lesson 38, we discussed five ways to create these “information gaps”—gaps between what we know and what we want to know.

Yet it’s not enough to simply have a number of information gaps and discoveries in a story: unless you’re using an episodic structure, larger discoveries should often be connected to each other and build on each other.

But how do you create this progression of knowledge discovery?

Let’s consider how Jane Austen does it, first in the novel Northanger Abbey, and then in Pride and Prejudice.

Murder? Imprisonment? Or Tragic Death?

The first time that Catherine Morland hears of Mrs. Tilney, Mrs. Allen is attempting to establish the basic facts of Mrs. Tilney’s existence (or lack of existence):

“And are Mr. and Mrs. Tilney in Bath?” [Catherine asked Mrs. Allen.]

“Yes, I fancy they are, but I am not quite certain. Upon recollection, however, I have a notion they are both dead; at least the mother is; yes, I am sure Mrs. Tilney is dead, because Mrs. Hughes told me there was a very beautiful set of pearls that Mr. Drummond gave his daughter on her wedding-day and that Miss Tilney has got now, for they were put by for her when her mother died.”

Later, when Catherine is visiting the Tilney estate, Northanger Abbey, she learns more of the facts from her friend, Miss Eleanor Tilney, and asks questions which might help her define these facts (label them in ways to help her understand them) and determine what these facts indicate or mean about Mrs. Tilney’s type of death (was it truly a sudden death? Or was wrongful behavior involved?)

Catherine had never heard Mrs. Tilney mentioned in the family before, and the interest excited by this tender remembrance showed itself directly in her altered countenance, and in the attentive pause with which she waited for something more.

“I used to walk here so often with her!” added Eleanor; “though I never loved it then, as I have loved it since. At that time indeed I used to wonder at her choice. But her memory endears it now.”

“And ought it not,” reflected Catherine, “to endear it to her husband? Yet the general would not enter it.” Miss Tilney continuing silent, she ventured to say, “Her death must have been a great affliction!”

….“Was she a very charming woman? Was she handsome? Was there any picture of her in the abbey? And why had she been so partial to that grove? Was it from dejection of spirits?”—were questions now eagerly poured forth; the first three received a ready affirmative, the two others were passed by; and Catherine’s interest in the deceased Mrs. Tilney augmented with every question, whether answered or not. Of her unhappiness in marriage, she felt persuaded. The general certainly had been an unkind husband. He did not love her walk: could he therefore have loved her? And besides, handsome as he was, there was a something in the turn of his features which spoke his not having behaved well to her.

“Her picture, I suppose,” blushing at the consummate art of her own question, “hangs in your father’s room?”

No; it was intended for the drawing-room; but my father was dissatisfied with the painting, and for some time it had no place. Soon after her death I obtained it for my own, and hung it in my bed-chamber—where I shall be happy to show it you; it is very like.” Here was another proof. A portrait—very like—of a departed wife, not valued by the husband! He must have been dreadfully cruel to her!

Catherine attempted no longer to hide from herself the nature of the feelings which, in spite of all his attentions, he had previously excited; and what had been terror and dislike before, was now absolute aversion. Yes, aversion! His cruelty to such a charming woman made him odious to her. She had often read of such characters, characters which Mr. Allen had been used to call unnatural and overdrawn; but here was proof positive of the contrary.

Catherine continues to gather knowledge, such as the facts that neither of the Tilney children were there when Mrs. Tilney died, and that Mrs. Tilney’s room are off-limits. From these discoveries, Catherine determines a course of action (or policy) to follow: to go, when alone, and search Mrs. Tilney’s rooms. When she does so, she discovers more facts (the lack of evidence of ill-treatment) and new definitions and understandings of the quality or nature of Mrs. Tilney’s death from her son, Henry Tilney. Ultimately, she realizes that all of her suspicions around Mrs. Tilney’s death were due to an overactive imagination.

These discoveries build on each other and create a progression across multiple chapters, a progression which interferes with her romantic interest in Henry Tilney, and which teaches Catherine more about herself and her relationship with others.

Northanger Abbey is not limited to this single progression of discoveries; in the lesson on character arcs, I discussed the progression (with accompanying setbacks) of Catherine coming to understand John Thorpe’s character. Often a novel will have a number of discovery progressions, sometimes at different points in time, and sometimes layered concurrently.

A Framework for Understanding These Progressions: Stasis Theory

Aristotle, Hermagoras, Quintilian, Cicero, and others developed a theory that we now call stasis theory.

Stasis theory is a way to understand the different spaces where argument can occur: in other words, the different spaces where people can disagree about knowledge. This can be a useful theory if you’re writing an argument between two characters, but it also can help us understand the different categories of information gaps that can occur.

In stasis theory, there are four main places where arguments occur:

  • Fact

  • Definition

  • Quality

  • Procedure

As I define each of these different stases, we’ll consider a progression of discovery from Pride and Prejudice.

Fact

Often, the characters must determine the facts. What happened? What caused something? What actually occurred?

While facts seem non-debatable, it’s actually very common to have extensive debates on the facts, and it can take much effort to acquire them (and to get people to agree upon them).

A Fact Information Gap in Pride and Prejudice

  • What happened between Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickham? What caused their cold greeting?

Definition

Once you have facts, you must categorize and define them. Did what happen cause a problem or a conflict? If so, what type of problem is it? How are the facts related and what connects them?

A Definition Information Gap in Pride and Prejudice

  • As Elizabeth learns more about Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickham’s interconnected pasts, she attempts to find a satisfactory definition to explain them. What she initially discovers leads her to define what happened as a disregard of the elder Mr. Darcy’s wishes and a removal of Mr. Wickham’s intended inheritance.

Quality

Following discoveries related to definition, judgments about quality are often made. What is the nature of what happened? Is it good or bad? Can we pass a judgment on a character, event, or situation?

A Quality Information Gap in Pride and Prejudice

  • Elizabeth decides what she has discovered indicates a severe mistreatment of Mr. Wickham by Mr. Darcy. She has made a judgment on quality.
  • Then, after she rejects Mr. Darcy’s proposal, he informs her of additional facts which lead her to change her definitions of the situation and her judgments on quality (Mr. Withrow squandered his inheritance and attempted to elope with the young Miss Darcy—clearly, the blame and fault lies with him).

Procedure

Once quality has been determined comes the question of procedure: what should be done? What is the best way to deal with this information gap or problem? Will the chosen procedure be effective?

A Procedure Information Gap in Pride and Prejudice

  • Prior to the start of the novel, Mr. Darcy, upon learning of Mr. Wickham’s true nature, rescued his sister and determined to keep the situation secret in order to protect his sister.
  • Once Elizabeth learns of the true nature of events, she agrees with his procedure: keep what happened a secret. She considers changing her procedure when she returns home, but decides not to.
  • For many chapters, this procedure seems to be a good one. But then Elizabeth’s sister Lydia elopes with Mr. Wickham, and it becomes clear that the procedure did not lead to the intended results. Which leads to a new question: what should now be done? Ultimately, Mr. Darcy decides to solve the problem by forcing Mr. Wickham to marry Lydia.

Bonus resources on stasis theory: Silva Rhetoricae on Stasis Theory; Purdue Writing Lab on Stasis Theory.

Creating a Progression of Knowledge Discovery

Sometimes a series of discoveries in a novel are sequenced so that a character moves directly from fact to definition to quality to procedure. At other times, as in Northanger Abbey and Pride and Prejudice, certain types of discoveries are repeated or returned to again and again. And in other stories, a series of discovery may not need a certain type of information gap.

Yet regardless of what exactly the progression looks like, creating a progression helps create movement and a feeling of continuity in the story. Often these key discoveries (such as Mr. Wickham’s true nature) become important for key plot events later (Mr. Wickham running off with Lydia), and by creating a progression it creates better foreshadowing and more satisfying pay-offs for the reader.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1:

While all genres of fiction have great examples of using a progression of discovery, one genre that is particularly known for it is the mystery genre. Watch a mystery film or read a mystery novel, and track different discoveries. What is revealed when? Which stases are used? How is a progression created, and how do these discoveries relate to and build on each other?

Exercise 2:

Choose an event or topic that involves disagreement. This could be a current/recent event (for example, something in the news), or something from your own life.

For this topic, consider how one group of people would define the facts, and how another group might consider the facts differently. Then consider how their perspectives would differ on definition, quality, and procedure, and fill out the following chart.

Perspective 1 Perspective 2
Fact
Definition
Quality
Procedure

How could understanding these different perspectives create plot conflict if this event or topic was included in a fictional story?

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #35: Establish the Character of a Setting

#35: Establish the Character of a Setting

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #35: Establish the Character of a Setting

We’ve talked a lot about characters—the people who are part of a story—but places can also have character.

One of the definitions that the Oxford English Dictionary provides for the word character is:

The aggregate of the distinctive features of something; essential peculiarity; distinctive nature, style, or quality; sort, kind, description.

The character of a setting is its essence, its overall nature which is experienced by those who interact with it (both the characters within a story and the readers of the story).

The character of a setting is its essence, its overall nature which is experienced by those who interact with it.

Jane Austen masterfully captures the character of a setting—its essence—regardless of whether she uses large or small amounts of description. Here are a few examples of the character of a setting from her novels:

Emma

In Emma, a shop is the setting for several key scenes, including Harriet running into Robert Martin, and a key interaction between Emma and Frank Churchill.

The essence of the shop, Ford’s, is described by the narrator:

Ford’s was the principal woollen-draper, linen-draper, and haberdasher’s shop united; the shop first in size and fashion in the place.

We see this essence again when Frank Churchill proposes that he and Emma visit it:

At this moment they were approaching Ford’s, and he hastily exclaimed, “Ha! this must be the very shop that every body attends every day of their lives, as my father informs me. He comes to Highbury himself, he says, six days out of the seven, and has always business at Ford’s. If it be not inconvenient to you, pray let us go in, that I may prove myself to belong to the place, to be a true citizen of Highbury. I must buy something at Ford’s. It will be taking out my freedom.—I dare say they sell gloves.”

Pride and Prejudice

In Pride and Prejudice, Rosings is the estate of Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Its essence has less to do with its buildings and land than with the fact that it is owned by Lady Catherine. In a previous post, I described Elizabeth’s approach to Rosings and the way in which description is used, but I’d like to offer one further quote:

The palings of Rosings Park was their boundary on one side. Elizabeth smiled at the recollection of all that she had heard of its inhabitants.

Rosings itself does not actually matter; rather, it is Rosings in the imagination that is of import, it is Rosings and its various associations that impacts all the characters that come in contact with it.

Persuasion

In Persuasion, the Elliot family is in rough financial straits and as a result is forced to rent out their estate. They go to stay in Bath, a bustling community that is known for being a center of society and health (while being a little cheaper on the pocketbook).

This is its core essence, but different characters, such as Lady Russell and Anne, interact with this core essence differently:

Everybody has their taste in noises as well as in other matters; and sounds are quite innoxious, or most distressing, by their sort rather than their quantity. When Lady Russell not long afterwards, was entering Bath on a wet afternoon, and driving through the long course of streets from the Old Bridge to Camden Place, amidst the dash of other carriages, the heavy rumble of carts and drays, the bawling of newspapermen, muffin-men and milkmen, and the ceaseless clink of pattens, she made no complaint. No, these were noises which belonged to the winter pleasures; her spirits rose under their influence; and like Mrs Musgrove, she was feeling, though not saying, that after being long in the country, nothing could be so good for her as a little quiet cheerfulness.

Anne did not share these feelings. She persisted in a very determined, though very silent disinclination for Bath; caught the first dim view of the extensive buildings, smoking in rain, without any wish of seeing them better; felt their progress through the streets to be, however disagreeable, yet too rapid; for who would be glad to see her when she arrived? And looked back, with fond regret, to the bustles of Uppercross and the seclusion of Kellynch.

As an interesting note, to me personally, the character of Bath feels different in Austen’s novel Northanger Abbey. In Northanger Abbey, Bath’s essence or defining characteristic seems to be as a place of possibility and discovery, both good and bad. The character of a particular setting can be represented differently depending on the needs of the story.

Establishing the Character of a Setting

While Jane Austen does not directly address the character of every single one of her settings, most of the time it is still implied. For important settings, it is especially useful to consider the overall character of the setting.

As seen in the above examples, the character could relate to its physical characteristics and mood, the people that reside in a setting, how the setting is used, a person who owns or is associated with a space. This is not an exhaustive list: a multitude of things could be contribute to the essence of a place.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Choose five settings from your life. These can be very specific/focused settings (a particular room) or much larger/broader (a city or a region) or anything in between. For each of the settings, write a single sentence in which you capture the essence or character of the setting.

Exercise 2: As you watch a film, make a list of every single setting in the film. Afterwards, in a word or a phrase, describe the character of each setting, as represented in the film. What sorts of things determine the character of each setting? Is it the physical characteristics? How people use the setting? What the setting represents? The people in the setting and their behavior? Etc.

Exercise 3: Revise a scene you have written to better capture the essence or character of the setting. As you do so, consider how different characters might feel differently about the setting and its character.

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