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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #61: How to Convey Emotion. Planting Clues to What Characters Feel

#61: How to Convey Emotion: Planting Clues to What Characters Feel

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #61: How to Convey Emotion. Planting Clues to What Characters Feel

It took me several years of writing fiction to really learn how to convey emotions. As a writer, you often know what your characters are feeling, but how do you convey that to the reader in a way that helps them to believe it, and sometimes even to feel it with the characters?

One of the ways I learned to write emotions was by studying writers who excel at it. Jane Austen is a master of emotion. Let’s look at a passage rife with emotion from her first published novel, Sense and Sensibility.

At this point in the novel, most characters assume that Marianne Dashwood and John Willoughby are engaged to each other. The other Dashwood family members leave the house, knowing it is likely that Willoughby will call upon Marianne.

They return to witness a flurry of unexpected emotions.

“They were no sooner in the passage than Marianne came hastily out of the parlour apparently in violent affliction, with her handkerchief at her eyes; and without noticing them ran up stairs.”

First, let’s consider the word apparently. Marianne is “apparently in violent affliction.” This word choice is important. Marianne is not a viewpoint character in this chapter—the point of view is from Elinor’s perspective. Elinor and her mother cannot actually, with any certainty, know how Marianne feels. They cannot peer into her mind. And even if she were to tell them, it would be filtered through both language and what she wants them to know.

As such, they are forced to interpret her behavior in order to understand her emotions. Readers must do the same thing, especially when reading about non-viewpoint characters. We look at clues that indicate how the characters feel, and, like Elinor and Mrs. Dashwood, we come to conclusions on someone’s emotional state.

What are the clues in this sentence?

  1. Marianne came hastily out of the parlour
  2. Apparently in violent affliction
  3. With her handkerchief at her eyes
  4. Without noticing them
  5. Ran up stairs

These clues can be categorized into different types of clues that you can use as a writer to convey emotions:

Emotional Clue Technique 1: Concrete actions and behavior

Emotional Clue Technique 1: Concrete actions and behavior

Marianne moves with speed; she has her handkerchief pressed to her eyes (and we can assume she is crying); she runs up the stairs.

Concrete actions and behavior are the results of choices made by a character, and choices are always influenced by a character’s emotions. Different characters react to different situations in very different ways—not everyone expresses strong emotions with strong outward displays. But even if a character is suppressing or hiding their emotions, it will impact their actions and behavior.

This is an important emotional clue to place, whether or not you are attempting to capture the viewpoint character’s emotions, or the emotions of another character.

Emotional Clue Technique 2: Awareness/lack of awareness

Marianne does not notice or acknowledge her family members, even as she rushes past them.

Certain types of emotions will point a character outward—charitable emotions, or concern for others. Other emotions will point a character inward or narrow their focus to a smaller awareness.

This emotional clue is one that Austen uses less frequently, but to great effect. In terms of viewpoint characters, a viewpoint character may not realize what they are aware or not aware of, but it will impact the sort of description that is used in a scene.

Emotional Clue Technique 3: General impressions

Marianne is apparently in violent affliction.

Here, Elinor and her mother are interpreting their general impressions—their feel of the situation. This is likely influenced by dozens of tiny details that Austen does not describe. Maybe Marianne’s face is pale; maybe her arms hang a little limply; maybe she’s sniffling. All of the time, we interpret dozens of tiny details—sometimes subconsciously—and come to conclusion. Rather than including every possible detail, we are given Elinor’s conclusion, which is useful in that it brings us back to the viewpoint character and how she is processing the events.

When a character interprets someone’s emotions, it’s often useful to have a qualifier that signifies that the point of view character is making an interpretation (so readers do not confuse it with the narrator proclaiming this emotion as fact, which can read as a point of view shift). Austen uses “apparently” but writers also use “likely,” “probably,” “it seemed that,” and a number of other signifiers.

More Types of Emotional Clues

Austen goes on to use more types of emotional clues in the passage (and she plants more emotional clues in the categories we’ve already established). Let’s read more of the scene and look for additional types of clues:

Surprised and alarmed they proceeded directly into the room she had just quitted, where they found only Willoughby, who was leaning against the mantel-piece with his back towards them. He turned round on their coming in, and his countenance showed that he strongly partook of the emotion which over-powered Marianne.

“Is anything the matter with her?” cried Mrs. Dashwood as she entered—“is she ill?”

“I hope not,” he replied, trying to look cheerful; and with a forced smile presently added, “It is I who may rather expect to be ill—for I am now suffering under a very heavy disappointment!”

“Disappointment?”

“Yes, for I am unable to keep my engagement with you. Mrs. Smith has this morning exercised the privilege of riches upon a poor dependent cousin, by sending me on business to London. I have just received my dispatches, and taken my farewell of Allenham; and by way of exhilaration I am now come to take my farewell of you.”

“To London!—and are you going this morning?”

“Almost this moment.”

“This is very unfortunate. But Mrs. Smith must be obliged;—and her business will not detain you from us long I hope.”

He coloured as he replied, “You are very kind, but I have no idea of returning into Devonshire immediately. My visits to Mrs. Smith are never repeated within the twelvemonth.”

“And is Mrs. Smith your only friend? Is Allenham the only house in the neighbourhood to which you will be welcome? For shame, Willoughby, can you wait for an invitation here?”

His colour increased; and with his eyes fixed on the ground he only replied, “You are too good.”

Emotional Clue Technique 4: Stating the Emotion

Emotional Clue Technique 4: Stating the Emotion

Elinor and her mother are surprised and alarmed.

The emotion of the viewpoint character can be stated, as Austen does here. This is not a technique she frequently uses—if used improperly, stating an emotion feels like cheating. If it feels unearned, we won’t necessarily believe it. When Austen states the emotion, it’s almost always in moments like this, where the situation and our past knowledge of the characters makes it obvious in and of itself that this would be the emotion felt by the viewpoint character. Of course Elinor and Mrs. Dashwood are going to be startled and alarmed by Marianne’s extreme emotional reaction. Stating it allows Austen to quickly solidify the reaction and move on to more important parts of the scene.

Most of the time, stating the emotion needs to be for the viewpoint character, unless it is the viewpoint character’s interpretation of another’s emotions (see clue technique 3).

Emotional Clue Technique 5: Body Language

Willoughby is leaning against the mantle-piece with his back towards them.

Body language is a powerful indicator of a character’s emotions. If a character is feeling confident, upset, flustered, or distracted, it will often have an impact on their body language. Some characters have little control or awareness of how their body language is conveying their emotional state; other characters will attempt to control their body language to mask emotions.

Emotional Clue Technique 6: Facial Expressions

Emotional Clue Technique 6: Facial Expressions

His countenance showed that he strongly partook of the emotion which over-powered Marianne.

Facial expressions often provide clues to a character’s emotions. Austen typically uses this type of emotional clue when capturing the emotions of a non-viewpoint character. Viewpoint characters, when experiencing emotions, are not always likely to think about what facial expressions they are using (though in some situations it can work).

Emotional Clue Technique 7: Verbs and Adjectives

Emotional Clue Technique 7: Verbs and Adjectives

Cried Mrs. Dashwood; with a forced smile; he coloured.

While this technique often overlaps with other techniques, it is such a powerful technique that it is useful to consider on its own. What verbs will best express someone’s emotion? What adjectives can enlighten the emotions of a scene?

Mrs. Dashwood does not just ask what is wrong with her daughter—she cries it. Calling a smile forced reveals that it does not feel genuine, and thus hints at the real emotion beneath. The fact that Willoughby’s face colours hints at shame or embarrassment in key parts of the conversation.

It’s important not to overindulge in this technique. Note that most of these lines of dialogue don’t include a verb that describe the characters, or how they’re saying their lines. Using verbs and adjectives that convey emotions can be most powerful when used sparingly, because we’re not inundated and it focuses the reader on the key, compelling details.

Emotional Clue Technique 8: Dialogue

Emotional Clue Technique 8: Dialogue

Mrs. Dashwood has asked Willoughby a question about Marianne, but then his dialogue focuses on himself and his troubles. Mrs. Dashwood’s continuing questions indicate that her constant surprise and changing understanding of the situation. Willoughby keeps most of his statements very formal and factual. While at this point readers cannot be conclusive about Willoughby’s motivations or the deeper layers behind his dialogue, readers discover this later in the book.

What a character says can reveal or conceal their emotions. Ultimately, dialogue is an action taken by a character, and what they choose to say and how is influenced by their emotional state.

Emotional Clue Technique 9: Shifts of Emotion

Emotional Clue Technique 9: Shifts of Emotion

As the conversation continues, there is a shift in Willoughby’s emotions. Not only is he feeling whatever emotions were incited by his conversation with Marianne, but a new emotion arrives: a discomfort and a desire to escape the situation.

The conversation continues with Mrs. Dashwood emphasizing that Willoughby is always welcome at their cottage, and then we read:

“My engagements at present,” replied Willoughby, confusedly, “are of such a nature—that—I dare not flatter myself—”

He stopped. Mrs. Dashwood was too much astonished to speak, and another pause succeeded. This was broken by Willoughby, who said with a faint smile, “It is folly to linger in this manner. I will not torment myself any longer by remaining among friends whose society it is impossible for me now to enjoy.”

He then hastily took leave of them all and left the room. They saw him step into his carriage, and in a minute it was out of sight.

Emotions—whether large or small—are not static. They can change or shift within a sentence or scene, or they can be joined by other emotions. Conveying shifts of emotion is a useful technique that helps the reader understand characters and the situation.

Emotional Clue Technique 10: Silence/Pauses

Emotional Clue Technique 10: Silence/Pauses

Mrs. Dashwood was too astonished to speak. Another pause succeeded—neither Willoughby or Elinor speak either. In fact, Elinor has not spoken yet during this scene, perhaps because she feels it is not her place.

Silences and pauses can be powerful tools to reveal emotions. Sometimes emotions can be too strong for action or dialogue. Sometimes inaction reveals an inability to process an emotions. Sometimes pauses are because an emotion makes it difficult to see a way forward. Who breaks the pause and how can also be revelatory.

Recap/Conclusion

In this short scene, Austen uses ten techniques that provide emotional clues to the reader, to help the reader understand—and experience—the emotions of the characters.

Let’s look at them again, in list form:

  1. Concrete actions and behavior
  2. Awareness/lack of awareness
  3. General impressions
  4. Stating the Emotion
  5. Body language
  6. Facial expressions
  7. Well Chosen Verbs and Adjectives
  8. Dialogue
  9. Shifts of Emotion
  10. Silences/pauses

This scene is a key emotional scene—it’s a turning point in the novel, where everything changes for Marianne and the other characters. So it makes sense that it uses ten different techniques that provide clues to the reader.

These aren’t the only techniques that Austen uses as emotional clues. In a previous Jane Austen writing lesson, I discussed how setting can be used to complement or contrast emotions. In the coming weeks, I’ll discuss other techniques for emotions that work particularly well for viewpoint characters (like free indirect speech, repetition, and punctuation). We’ll also talk more about differences between conveying small, medium, and large emotions, and ways that different characters express or deal with their emotions.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Incorporating emotional clues

Part 1: From the list of ten emotional clues, choose the three that you are most comfortable using to convey emotions. Now write a paragraph or brief scene that uses these three emotional clues.

Part 2: Now return to the list of ten emotional clues, and choose the three that you are least comfortable using to convey emotions. Rewrite the paragraph or brief scene using these three emotional clues instead.

Exercise 2: Random number generator story

Step 1: Choose an everyday task (going to the grocery store; attending school; working out; etc.)

Step 2: Choose a predominant emotion (happiness; anger; frustration; fatigue; etc.)

Step 3: Use a random number generator to select 5 numbers between 1 and 10 (there can be duplicates). Write them down in the random order generated by the widget.

Step 4: Write a scene that has a character complete the everyday task and incorporates the predominant emotion. Each type of emotional clue should be used in the storytelling. These emotional clues can be grouped together in the scene, or spread throughout the scene, but they must be included in the order dictated by the random number generator.

Exercise 3: Analyze the writing of an author you love (who is not Jane Austen). What emotional clues do they use to hint at or convey the characters’ emotions? Do they use the same emotional clues as Austen uses, or different ones? How are they incorporated into scenes?

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #42: Use Large Discoveries and Plot Twists

#42: Use Large Discoveries and Plot Twists

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #42: Use Large Discoveries and Plot Twists

Every Jane Austen novel has at least two or three large discoveries. These are grand reveals, surprise proposals, plot twists—these are moments when everything the character (and the reader) knows experiences a large shift or change. Sometimes these discoveries are unexpected for the reader, and other times, they are long hoped for by the reader (such as two favorite characters finally expressing their love to each other).

But how do you effectively write these grand discoveries? What are the essential elements?

The first element is something we discussed in the previous lesson: if there is a large discovery, there must be foreshadowing in advance. That way, even if the discovery is a surprise, it is believable and fits within the story world.

The next elements relate to the scene in which the discovery occurs. We’re going to discuss the biggest discoveries and plot twists that occur near the end of Jane Austen’s novel Emma. So prepare yourself for epic spoilers, which are necessary, or we can’t talk about how these scenes work.

Spoiler Alert: The ending of Jane Austen's Emma

The Sequence of Large Discoveries in Emma

Near the end of Emma, Jane Austen stacks four huge discoveries in a row, all near the climax of the book.

Here is the sequence of discoveries:

Discovery 1: Frank Churchill and Jane Fairfax have been secretly engaged for months.

Discovery 2: Harriet is not in love with Frank Churchill: she is in love with Mr. Knightley.

Discovery 3: Emma realizes that she herself is in love with Mr. Knightley and wants to marry him. (This discovery is one that is for the character and her character arc, but one that readers have likely suspected for quite some time.)

Discovery 4: Mr. Knightley loves Emma.

When I read Emma for the first time, I was completely surprised and blown away by the first discovery, that Frank Churchill and Jane Fairfax have been secretly engaged. I was not expecting it at all, and yet it was beautiful and horrifying and compelling and perfect and made me reconsider everything I’d read.

Other discoveries, like the third and fourth, I suspected, but that did not lessen the impact of these discoveries, because they are such key moments for the characters.

There is so much happening in each of these scenes, and they are well worth rereading. But each of these scenes contains a few core components. These are not always in the same order, and sometimes these components occur more than once within the same scene.

1. Advance signaling

Austen always builds up anticipation right before a large discovery—she gives advance signaling that there will be a large discovery.

Before Emma finds out about Frank and Jane’s engagement, Mr. Weston requests that Emma visit his house for news which only his wife can tell her, which sets off all sorts of warning signals in Emma’s head (she even worries that something has happened to her sister or brother-in-law or their children).

Before Harriet’s revelation, Emma notices that Harriet’s speech and mannerisms are not what she would expect:

It was indeed, so odd; Harriet’s behaviour was so extremely odd, that Emma did not know how to understand it. Her character appeared absolutely changed.

2. The Discovery Itself

The discovery itself is always expressed in a compelling way, whether it’s through someone’s speech, actions, events, or a combination.

When Emma discovers her own nature, her own feelings towards Mr. Knightley, we read:

Why was it so much worse that Harriet should be in love with Mr. Knightley, than with Frank Churchill? Why was the evil so dreadfully increased by Harriet’s having some hope of a return? It darted through her, with the speed of an arrow, that Mr. Knightley must marry no one but herself!

And when Mr. Knightley his love for Emma, we have some of the most romantic lines in the novel:

“I cannot make speeches, Emma. If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more….At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice.”

3. Physical Reaction

A large discovery marks a huge shift of knowledge and understanding for a character. In cases like this, there is always some sort of physical reaction. Sometimes this is an internal reaction for the character (for example, a headache, stomach pain, etc.), and sometimes this is expressed in outward physical behavior (for example, speech, body language, movement, etc.).

After Mrs. Weston gives news of Frank and Jane’s engagement, we read:

Emma even jumped with surprise;–and, horror-struck, exclaimed,

“Jane Fairfax!—Good God! You are not serious? You do not mean it?”

Later, as Emma learns of Harriet’s true affections, we read:

[Emma] could not speak another word.—Her voice was lost; and she sat down, waiting in great terror till Harriet should answer.

4. Emotional Reaction

Large discoveries should always create an emotional reaction within the character, and as such, this emotion must be conveyed to the reader.

Emotions are conveyed throughout each of these four scenes in various ways. Here’s a passage that occurs after Emma’s discoveries of Harriet’s affection and of her own affections, which uses free indirect speech to convey emotion:

The rest of the day, the following night, were hardly enough for her thoughts.—She was bewildered amidst the confusion of all that had rushed on her within the last few hours. Every moment had brought a fresh surprise; and every surprise must be matter of humiliation to her.—How to understand it all! How to understand the deceptions she had been thus practicing on herself, and living under!—The blunders, the blindness of her own head and heart!—she sat still, she walked about, she tried her own room, she tried the shrubbery—in every place, every posture, she perceived that she had acted most weakly; that she had been imposed on by others in a most mortifying degree; that she had been imposing on herself in a degree yet more mortifying; that she was wretched, and should probably find this day but the beginning of wretchedness.

5. Reflection

Finally, large discoveries and twists demand further reflection from the character (which allows for reflection by the reader). This reflection is a chance for the character to consider the discovery in context, and to think about what this discovery means for the future.

A few minutes after the discovery of the hidden engagement, Emma reflects verbally on the discovery as she speaks to the Westons:

“Well,” said Emma, “I suppose we shall gradually grow reconciled to the idea, and I wish them very happy. But I shall always think it a very abominable sort of proceeding. What has it been but a system of hypocrisy and deceit,–espionage, and treachery?—To come among us with professions of openness and simplicity; and such a league in secret to judge us all!—Here have we been, the whole winter and spring, completely duped, fancying ourselves all on equal footing of truth and honour, with two people in the midst of us who may have been carrying round, comparing and sitting in judgment on sentiments and words that were never meant for both to hear.—They must take the consequence, if they have heard each other spoken of in a way not perfectly agreeable!”

After the final revelation—of Mr. Knightley’s love for Emma—we once again have Emma’s reflections:

What totally different feelings did Emma take back into the house from what she had brought out!—she had then been only daring to hope for a little respite of suffering;–she was now in an exquisite flutter of happiness, and such happiness moreover as she believed must still be greater when the flutter should have passed away.

Conclusion

Well-written discoveries can have a huge impact on characters, plot, and readers. When crafted with these five elements (advance signaling, the discovery, physical reaction, emotional reaction, and reflection) you can create powerful scenes that are satisfying to the reader. In the next lesson, which will be the final lesson on discovery, we will discuss using discovery to create satisfying story resolutions.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Choose a large discovery that a character could have. First, write a character experiencing this discovery in a single paragraph, but still include all five elements: advance signaling, the discovery itself, physical reaction, emotional reaction, reflection. Now write a longer scene with a character experiencing this discovery, again using all five elements: advance signaling, the discovery itself, physical reaction, emotional reaction, reflection. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each version? Can you effectively tell the discovery both ways?

Exercise 2: Choose one of your favorite books that has been adapted to film. Rewatch and reread some of the scenes of discovery. How are the discoveries treated or expressed differently in book and the film?

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #41: Use Foreshadowing

#41: Use Foreshadowing

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #41: Use Foreshadowing

Jane Austen is an expert at foreshadowing. In each of her books, she leaves a trail of breadcrumbs for readers which lead up to her larger discoveries and reveals, whether it’s Mr. Darcy’s surprise proposal (set up by his glances and his attention and his conversation) or the truth about Mr. Wickham (which is hinted at in his words, behavior, and interaction). On a second read, it’s much easier to see these breadcrumbs, yet even if a reader does not recognize these clues as breadcrumbs, foreshadowing is essential for a good reading experience.

It’s easy, as a writer, to throw in something shocking or unexpected or create a huge twist. Yet readers feel cheated—the experience feels lacking and hollow—if these elements are not set up or foreshadowed properly.

Discoveries, especially large discoveries, must be earned. And this applies to any type of discovery, whether it’s a reveal, a twist, a deeper understanding of someone’s character, or the moment when a character obtains a missing piece of information. In the podcast Writing Excuses, the hosts about the importance making these sorts of discoveries “surprising yet inevitable.” Readers don’t necessarily expect these discoveries (and sometimes you don’t want them to expect these discoveries at all), but these discoveries do follow from what is in the narrative.

In this lesson, we’ll talk about five foreshadowing techniques used by Jane Austen, with examples from her first published novel, Sense and Sensibility.

The Techniques of Foreshadowing

The word foreshadowing literally means “before-shadow”: a shadow coming before. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, “the notion seems to be a shadow thrown before an advancing material object as an image of something suggestive of what is to come.”

Foreshadow: "A shadow thrown before an advancing material object as an image of something suggestive of what is to come.” --Online Etymology Dictionary

So how do you throw these shadows in advance? How do you suggest things without being too heavy-handed and providing the discovery earlier than needed for the character and the plot?

In her novel Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen uses five major foreshadowing techniques:

  1. Introduce events that will have renewed importance later on
  2. Give hints of an individual’s true character
  3. Hide or “sandwich” key details between other information which seems more salient
  4. Intentionally draw attention to key moments
  5. Use a lack of knowledge to allow for new meanings and understanding later

We’ll see how she uses each of these techniques in Sense and Sensibility, but first, a little refresher on the novel.

Jane Austen’s novel Sense and Sensibility features a family uprooted. Two adult daughters, Elinor and Marianne, both have hopes and difficulties in their love lives. Elinor was falling in love with Edward Ferrars before they were uprooted, and it seemed that he reciprocated her affections, but he has not visited them since they moved. Marianne is beginning to fall in love with a dashing young gentleman named Willoughby; a slightly older gentlemen (think upper thirties) named Colonel Brandon favors Marianne but she is not interested in him.

Jane Austen's foreshadowing techniques. 1. Introduce events that will have renewed importance later on.

Foreshadowing Technique #1: Introduce events that will have renewed importance later on

In Sense and Sensibility, Colonel Brandon organizes a large party to visit Whitehall. It’s a location of interest that he has a connection to—they could not visit it without him. Elinor and Marianne are invited, as are Sir John, Willoughby, and others.

Just a few minutes before they are to leave for Whitehall, Colonel Brandon receives a letter and announces that they must cancel the trip to Whitehall, for he must go to London immediately. He refuses to tell them what his business is, and refuses to delay his trip.

“We must go [to Whitehall],” said Sir John.—“It shall not be put off when we are so near to it. You cannot go to town till tomorrow, Brandon, that is all.”

“I wish it could be so easily settled. But it is not in my power to delay my journey for one day!”

….“You would not be six hours later,” said Willoughby, “if you were to defer your journey till our return.”

“I cannot afford to lose one hour.”

This event becomes important later on: much later in the book, we discover why Colonel Brandon has gone to London: a young girl in his charge was taken advantage of by Willoughby and is now pregnant, a fact Colonel Brandon reveals after Willoughby breaks Marianne’s heart and becomes engaged to another woman.

Clearly, this event has renewed importance thematically, for the plot, and for the characters later in the story. Yet it’s an important event as the moment as well. Directly after Colonel Brandon’s statement that he cannot delay a single hour, we read:

Elinor then heard Willoughby say in a low voice to Marianne, “There are some people who cannot bear a party of pleasure. Brandon is one of them. He was afraid of catching cold I dare say, and invented this trick for getting out of it. I would lay fifty guineas the letter was of his own writing.”

“I have no doubt of it,” replied Marianne.

This event is important within the chapter because Marianne uses it to judge between Colonel Brandon and Willougbhy. She sees Brandon’s abandoning of their party in a negative light, and sees Willoughby only in a positive light (though ironically, we find out later that it is Willougbhy’s actions that have caused the problem).

Colonel Brandon leaves, and everyone decides to drive their carriages together for pleasure. Marianne joins Willoughby in his carriage, and they soon separate from the rest of the party—for many hours. This could be a little scandalous in and of itself, but he takes her to the home he is to inherit and gives her a private tour, something that is certainly outside of the bounds of proper respectability. This is an action that leads many to assume that Marianne and Willoughby are secretly engaged.

As Jane Austen was crafting her novel, she could have had Colonel Brandon run off to London at any time—it could’ve happened off the page instead of in a scene; it could’ve been simply been mentioned by another character (“Where is Colonel Brandon?” “Oh, he had to leave for London for urgent business.”) Yet there is a power to including an event of importance on the page, in scene, with character dialogue and reactions, and this event is especially effective because it is not only important later on, but it has so much impact on the characters and the plot at the moment.

Jane Austen's foreshadowing techniques. 2. Give hints of an individual's true character.

Foreshadowing Technique #2: Give hints of an individual’s true character

Ultimately, the most interesting discoveries that a character can make in a novel are those which are about the true nature or true character of both others and themselves. Characters, of course, have the possibility to change and transform; an attribute can have both positive and negative aspects, as well as positive and negative potential for the story.

In Sense and Sensibility, Willoughby is truly dashing. He’s charming and romantic, and his attention thrills Marianne.

At one point, Marianne’s mother, Mrs. Dashwood, makes comments about improvements she would like to make to the cottage, in order to make it more comfortable for their family. Willoughby passionately insists that their home is “faultless…I consider it as the only form of building in which happiness is attainable.” He flatters them and their home and earnestly tries to convince Mrs. Dashwood to not make any changes:

“Tell me that not only your house will remain the same, but that I shall ever find you and yours as unchanged as your dwelling; and that you will always consider me with the kindness which has made everything belonging to you so dear to me.”

The entire conversation makes Marianne feel all aflutter. For her it’s incredibly romantic—he speaks with the passion and language of her favorite poets and writers. Yet it hints at his character, it foreshadows his flaws and later choices. He wants to fix the Dashwoods and their home, to create permanence, as if they are a museum exhibit for him to enjoy, rather than living, changing human beings. He wants them for his own purposes and pleasures, without considering what their needs are and what they desire.

Jane Austen's foreshadowing techniques. 3. Hide or "sandwich" key details between other information which seems more salient.

Foreshadowing Technique #3: Hide or “sandwich” key details between other information which seems more salient

From the moment since they arrived at the cottage, Elinor has been nursing her heartache, not just for her home at Norland, but also for Edward Ferrars. One day while Elinor and Marianne are taking a walk, they see a man on horseback approaching, who Marianne longingly hopes is Willougbhy, but it is not Willougbhy. It is Edward come to visit. Elinor is a little lost for words, but Marianne is all excitement for her sister. Yet all does not seem well:

He was confused, seemed scarcely sensible of pleasure in seeing them, looked neither rapturous nor gay, said little but what was forced from him by questions, and distinguished Elinor by no mark of affection.

A little later we read:

After a short silence which succeeded the first surprise and inquiries of meeting, Marianne asked Edward if he came directly from London. No, he had been in Devonshire a fortnight.

“A fortnight!” she repeated, surprised at his being so long in the same country with Elinor without seeing her before.

He looked rather distressed as he added, that he had been staying with some friends near Plymouth.

“Have you been lately in Sussex?” asked Elinor.

“I was at Norland about a month ago.”

“And how does dear, dear Norland look?” cried Marianne.

“Dear, dear Norland,” said Elinor, “probably looks much as it always does at this time of the year. The woods and walks thickly covered with dead leaves.”

“Oh!” cried Marianne, “with what transporting sensation have I formerly seen them fall! How have I delighted, as I walked, to see them driven in showers about me by the wind! What feelings have they, the season, the air altogether inspired! Now there is no one to regard them. They are seen only as a nuisance, swept hastily off, and driven as much as possible from the sight.”

“It is not every one,” said Elinor, “who has your passion for dead leaves.”

This passage has a number of salient moments: moments which are relevant and important, moments that draw our attention. First we have Edward’s reticence, which seems even more terrible to the sisters when we find out that he has been in the area for an entire fortnight—two weeks!—without calling on them. And then we have the fact that he has been to their old home, Norland, which is an essential moment for both Elinor and Marianne as they reflect on what they have lost. We can see how both sisters deal with loss and emotions differently by how they each talk about dead leaves.

Yet sandwiched in between the two weeks of Edward not calling on them and the leaves of Norland is a seemingly small, unimportant detail: “he had been staying with some friends near Plymouth.”

Yet this small detail is actual a key moment of foreshadowing, an important detail that is recalled later on, when Elinor meets Lucy Steele. For Lucy is one of the friends from Plymouth, and Lucy dramatically informs Elinor that she has been secretly engaged to Edward for years.

This sort of foreshadowing technique is often used in mystery novels—a small detail is given which does not seem relevant at the time, yet later holds the key to unlocking greater discoveries, greater truths. Yet this technique is just as useful in other genres and types of writing.

“Hiding” these key details between things which seem more important to the reader puts this information on the page but intentionally does not draw our attention to the information—we are meant to notice the information without focusing on it. Austen uses this technique in her novels to help set up big reveals and plot twists. In order for a big reveal, a big twist to be a surprise for readers, we can’t expect it. If too much attention was drawn to a detail such as the friends at Plymouth, we might expect the reveal. Yet if the detail is not there at all, if there is no foreshadowing, then the twist or reveal will feel hollow and inorganic to the story. Thus, details such as this can be sandwiched or hidden in other things to strike the right balance of foreshadowing without lessening later surprises.

Jane Austen's foreshadowing techniques. 4. Intentionally draw attention to key moments.

Foreshadowing Technique #4: Intentionally draw attention to key moments

While at times it is important to distract or draw attention away from important details, at other times Austen draws attention to key moments.

A few pages after the previous passage, we read:

[Marianne] was sitting by Edward, and in taking his tea from Mrs. Dashwood, his hand passed so directly before her, as to make a ring, with a plait of hair in the centre, very conspicuous on one of his fingers.

Marianne asks Edward if it is his sister’s hair, even though it seems a lighter color:

He coloured very deeply, and giving a momentary glance at Elinor, replied, “Yes, it is my sister’s hair. The setting always casts a different shade on it, you know.”

Elinor had met his eye, and looked conscious likewise. That the hair was her own, she instantaneously felt as well satisfied as Marianne; the only difference in their conclusions was, that what Marianne considered as a free gift from her sister, Elinor was conscious must have been procured by some theft or contrivance unknown to herself.

The ring could have been mentioned in simply a sentence, sandwiched between other details, but here it is like a flag is placed above it, drawing attention to the ring. Not all foreshadowing can be subtle and invisible, or it will not feel like enough foreshadowing. The foreshadowing that should draw our attention should be that which creates emotional resonance for the characters. Here, we see in a single sentence a complicated set of emotions for Elinor: she is flattered and hopeful that Edward has taken a lock of her hair, but a little conflicted that he has done so without her knowing. Taking the time to have focus on the ring and explore Elinor’s emotional reaction is essential in order to set up her emotional reaction the next time the ring is mentioned. Which leads us to the next foreshadowing technique.

Jane Austen's foreshadowing techniques. 5. Use a lack of knowledge to allow for new meanings and understanding later.

Foreshadowing Technique #5: Use a lack of knowledge to allow for new meanings and understanding later

While some foreshadowing is very direct and clear—Colonel Brandon has left for an unknown reason, and later we learn the reason—at other times it is effective for the characters to misinterpret or misunderstand these moments of foreshadowing. This relates to the last lesson, in which we talked about distractions and red herrings, and how they can lead characters to false conclusions. By having some information or events misinterpreted by the characters and/or the reader, it sets up later discoveries while creating greater surprise (and other strong emotions) because we expected a different result.

In Sense and Sensibility, Lucy Steele arrives shortly after Edward leaves. Based on the comments and teasing of other characters, Lucy begins to suspect that Elinor is in love with Edward, and so she makes a rather manipulative play to keep him for herself. She makes Elinor promise not to tell anyone of her secret, and then confides in her, telling her of her secret engagement. It takes some convincing and a fair amount of explanation on Lucy’s part to achieve her ends. Yet Elinor remembers that Edward has stayed in Plymouth with friends, she remembers that he was “sadly out of spirits,” and she begins to believe Lucy. And then she learns the truth of the ring:

“Writing to each other,” said Lucy, returning the letter into her pocket, “is the only comfort we have in such long separations. Yes, I have one other comfort in his picture; but poor Edward has not even that. If he had but my picture, he says he should be easy. I gave him a lock of my hair set in a ring when he was at Longstaple last, and that was some comfort to him, he said, but not equal to a picture. Perhaps you might notice the ring when you saw him?”

“I did,” said Elinor, with a composure of voice, under which was concealed an emotion and distress beyond any thing she had ever felt before. She was mortified, shocked, confounded.

Fortunately for her, they had now reached the cottage, and the conversation could be continued no farther. After sitting with them a few minutes, the Miss Steeles returned to the Park, and Elinor was then at liberty to think and be wretched.

This scene is powerful and full of emotion for both Elinor in the reader. It is a grand, unexpected twist, yet it has been properly foreshadowed, which makes it more powerful, for it feels more true and more terrible as a result. It hearkens back to “hidden” or “sandwiched” details, yet it also draws upon an emotionally powerful object that was a focus in a previous scene yet was misinterpreted.  It’s an incredibly effective use of foreshadowing to build to this moment.

Austen uses these foreshadowing techniques in each of her novels to set up key scenes, moments, revelations, and discoveries in a way that creates emotion and resonance for readers.

Foreshadowing is a powerful tool, yet can be tricky to use properly. Often in my own writing, my foreshadow is inadequate in the first draft—either too much, too little, or the wrong techniques in certain moments. For both me and many other writers, it is in revision that the foreshadowing is refined to make it most effective.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Choose a different Jane Austen novel and find at least three moments of foreshadowing. Which techniques does Jane Austen use and how does this foreshadowing set up later discovery?

Exercise 2: Write a scene in which the main character is surprised by a discovery at the end of the scene. The reader should be surprised as well. This could be any sort of discovery, such as a surprise birthday party, a surprise proposal, or a surprise award at work. Use several different foreshadowing techniques in the scene to hint at the upcoming revelation without giving it away.

Exercise 3: Revising for Foreshadowing.

Take a draft you have written of a short story, novella, or novel. Choose a key moment of discovery, a twist, or a reveal, and then look back to see what moments of foreshadowing you used for this discovery. What different foreshadowing techniques did you use? Could any of these moments of foreshadowing be refined? Are there any points where it more effective to use a different foreshadowing technique? Are there moments when it might be helpful to add foreshadowing?

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #32: Use Setting to Complement or Contrast Emotion

#32: Use Setting to Complement or Contrast Emotion

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #32: Use Setting to Complement or Contrast Emotion

In the last lesson, I discussed the advantages of using a distinctive setting in a major plot turn. In addition to assisting the plot, a setting is one of the most powerful ways to reveal a character’s emotions.

In Jane Austen’s novel Mansfield Park, the main character, Fanny Price, lives with her aunt and uncle and cousins. Fanny is often mistreated and ignored, but when her cousin Maria is married, both of Fanny’s female cousins—Maria and Julia—travel to London. Everyone’s treatment of Fanny improves, and she becomes a more essential and more valued part of the household.

Her friendship with a neighbor, Miss Crawford, also increases. One day, while Fanny is visiting Miss Crawford, the two are walking around the shrubbery at the parsonage, and they stop to sit on a bench. They are both in the exact same setting at the exact same time, but they both engage with it differently, and how they engage and interact with the setting provides insight into their emotions:

“This is pretty—very pretty,” said Fanny, looking around her as they were thus sitting together one day: “Every time I come into this shrubbery I am more struck with its growth and beauty. Three years ago, this was nothing but a rough hedgerow along the upper side of the field, never thought of as any thing, or capable of becoming any thing; and now it is converted into a walk, and it would be difficult to say whether most valuable as a convenience or an ornament; and perhaps in another three years we may be forgetting—almost forgetting what it was before. How wonderful, how very wonderful the operations of time, and the changes of the human mind!”

Fanny not only notices the growth and development of the setting, but she also eloquently expresses her observations. For the reader, Fanny’s musings on the shrubbery are not just a matter of an improved landscape: her musings reflect on how Fanny prefers her new role within the world. Previously, her family “never thought of [her] as any thing, or capable of becoming any thing,” but like the shrubbery, she is now flourishing. And because she is flourishing, she notices the shrubbery.

On the contrary, this is Miss Crawford’s reaction:

Miss Crawford, untouched and inattentive, had nothing to say.

Miss Crawford is naturally less interested in nature, but this character difference is not the full story. In the subsequent paragraphs, it begins to become clear that Miss Crawford is wrapped up in her own thoughts and reflections, as she tries to figure out what her future will look like. She is not a viewpoint character in this scene, yet still we glimpse her emotions by the very fact that she does not notice the setting and is unable to respond to Fanny’s enthusiasm.

Complements and Contrasts

When using setting to reveal emotion, the writer can:

  • Use a setting which complements the character’s emotions.

  • Use a setting which contrasts with the character’s emotions.

  • Use a setting which both complements and contrasts the character’s emotion.

In the above example, the emotion was revealed through speech, action, inaction, and awareness, all of which related or were in reference to the setting. Another effective method of revealing emotion is through the description of setting within the narrative.

Using the Setting to Complement Emotions

In Mansfield Park, Fanny’s uncle Lord Bertram becomes angry with her when she refuses an offer of marriage. He sends her back to her parents, which puts her in a setting that she has not interacted with since she was a young girl. How she feels about this is made clear by the narrator’s insights into her perception of the setting:

She was then taken into a parlour, so small that her first conviction was of its being only a passage-room to something better, and she stood for a moment expecting to be invited on; but when she saw there was no other door, and that there were signs of habitation before her, she called back her thoughts, reproved herself, and grieved lest they should have been suspected.

Several chapters focus almost entirely on Fanny’s interaction with the setting. The setting is not just her parents’ house; the setting is also the people in it (all of her many siblings, most of who she has no connection to), as well as and the behaviors and expectations associated with the house. In one passage, we read:

But though she had seen all the members of the family, she had not yet heard all the noise they could make.

Austen goes on to describe, in great detail, the hustle and bustle and the yelling and the arguing,

the whole of which, as almost every door in the house was open, could be plainly distinguished in the parlour, except when drowned at intervals by the superior noise of Sam, Tom, and Charles chasing each other up and down stairs, and tumbling about and hallooing.

Fanny was almost stunned. The smallness of the house, and thinness of the walls, brought every thing so close to her, that, added to the fatigue of her journey, and all her recent agitation, she hardly knew how to bear it.

There is never a need for Austen to state, “Fanny was not happy with this move and did not feel comfortable with her family. She felt unloved and unwanted.” None of these things need to be said, because we experience through it as Fanny experiences the setting. At the end of one of the chapters, the narrator does state Fanny’s emotions more directly:

In a review of the two houses, as they appeared to her before the end of a week, Fanny was tempted to apply to them Dr. Johnson’s celebrated judgment as to matrimony and celibacy, and say, that though Mansfield Park might have some pains, Portsmouth could have no pleasures.

However, this more direct statement of emotion works because of the artistry of it, because it is a direct revelation of Fanny’s internal thoughts, and because this direct statement of emotion has been earned. We have already experienced the emotion with Fanny by experiencing the setting with her. And so when this statement is made, we agree with her and we feel for her.

Using the Setting to Contrast Emotions

At other times, it can be effective to use the setting to provide a contrast to the character’s emotions. A good, beautiful day could be contrasted with a character’s depressions, just as a terrifying storm could contrast with a character’s happiness.

Near the beginning of the novel, when a young Fanny arrives at Mansfield Park, the wonderful, grand house provides a clear contrast to her emotions, actually serving to make her feel worse:

The grandeur of the house astonished, but could not console her. The rooms were too large for her to move in with ease; whatever she touched she expected to injure, and she crept about in constant terror of something or other; often retreating towards her own chamber to cry.

When a positive setting contrasts with a negative emotion, it can serve to alienate the character from their surroundings, as occurs in this example. This can make the character’s negative emotions feel even weightier to the reader. When a negative setting contrasts with a positive emotion, the character seems to transcend their setting. This can make the character’s positive emotions seem greater or more powerful to the reader.

Using the Setting Both to Complement and Contrast Emotions

Some settings both complement and contrast emotions. This can occur over the course of a novel, as a character’s relationship with the setting changes.

This can also occur within a single scene. When a setting both complements and contrasts emotions in a single scene, it often serves to highlight the complexity of human emotion as well as our nuanced experiences with our surroundings.

The following passage in Mansfield Park occurs when Fanny is still at her parents’ home. She is dreading receiving bad news in the mail. Note how the narrator calls attention to the fact of what the bright sunlight should do versus what it actually does, and how this transitions to Fanny noticing aspects of the setting which reflect her discomfort (such as the low-quality blue milk with motes and the increasingly greasy butter and bread):

The sun was yet an hour and half above the horizon. She felt that she had, indeed, been three months there; and the sun’s rays falling strongly into the parlour, instead of cheering, made her still more melancholy, for sunshine appeared to her a totally different thing in a town and in the country. Here, its power was only a glare: a stifling, sickly glare, serving but to bring forward stains and dirt that might otherwise have slept. There was neither health nor gaiety in sunshine in a town. She sat in a blaze of oppressive heat, in a cloud of moving dust, and her eyes could only wander from the walls, marked by her father’s head, to the table cut and notched by her brothers, where stood the tea-board never thoroughly cleaned, the cups and saucers wiped in streaks, the milk a mixture of motes floating in thin blue, and the bread and butter growing every minute more greasy than even Rebecca’s hands had first produced it.

A bright cheery day is now a curse for Fanny—she normally loves the sun, but not now. Not in this context of this setting, and not in this context of her own emotional agony. The sun contrasts with her emotions until it is subverted into complementing her negative emotions.

In Conclusion

Just as Jane Austen does, we can use the setting to reflect or contrast with a character’s emotions. Often, this is more effective than just stating the emotion, and it allows the setting to perform work on multiple levels of the novel.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: One Setting, a Multitude of Possible Emotions

Woman in Rain by Mario Cuadros. Displays a woman in a city, walking along the sidewalk. She wears a long brown coat and a backpack. We see her walking away from us with a black umbrella over her head.

Photo by Mario Cuadros from Pexels

A single setting could be described in very different ways, depending on the character’s emotion. Consider the above photograph. Now write three short descriptions of the character within this setting, each which conveys a different emotion. Aim for a one to four sentence description, and choose from the following emotions:

  • Fear
  • Excitement
  • Resignation
  • Love
  • Fatigue
  • Concern for someone else

Exercise 2:

Choose a novel. Now find three different points in the novel which describe the setting while providing insight into emotion. Does the setting complement or contrast the emotion? Does it do both? What specific word choice and sentence structure helps produce the desired emotion?

Exercise 3:

Option 1: As you write a scene, consciously include details about the setting which either complement or contrast with the character’s emotions.

Option 2: Take an early draft of a scene you have written and revise it, focusing on using the setting to shine a light on the character’s emotions.

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #14: Incorporate Backstory Strategically

#14: Incorporate Backstory Strategically

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #14: Incorporate Backstory Strategically

What is backstory?

Backstory is history and information about what happens before the story. Backstory is typically related to the characters, the situation, and the world in which they live.

Most backstory is never mentioned in a story—there are thousands of details and past events that inform the character and their community, thousands of excess details that your readers don’t want or need to know.

Yet there are plenty of details which the reader does need. The key is deciding how to share them.

One of the primary purposes of exposition is to provide backstory, yet too much backstory weighs down the exposition. Anytime you dive into past events, situations, details, and information, there’s a risk of creating an infodump.

The Infodump (Jane Austen Writing Lessons)

An infodump is an excess of information that pulls us out of the narrative. Information is piled on the reader, who does not have direction, and who doesn’t feel any sense of connection to the information. When too much of this sort of information is given to the reader at once, none of the information has purpose or weight, and the reader often loses interest in the story.

Instead of creating a pile of information, consider the individual pieces, and how they could be incorporated. The soda can in this beach pile might not feel like garbage if we encounter it by itself, as we’re walking along the beach. We might see someone drinking it—it might bring up an interesting recollection of a past event or situation.

The author Jo Walton talks about the benefits of what she calls incluing, or “the process of scattering information seamlessly through the text, as opposed to stopping the story to impart the information.”

Backstory should be woven not just through the exposition of a story, but throughout the entire story.

Weaving in Backstory in Persuasion

In the exposition of Persuasion, Jane Austen establishes the Elliot family, the death of Lady Elliot, and the characters of the three daughters, including the oft overlooked Anne Elliot.

The heart of Persuasion is about Anne Elliot and her relationships, in particular her relationship with Captain Wentworth. Yet the crucial backstory about the relationship between them is not provided in the exposition of the novel, but is carefully woven throughout.

The Elliots have decided that in order to remain financially solvent, they must rent out their home, Kellynch Hall. In chapter 3, they discuss a possible tenant: Admiral Croft.

One line of dialogue gives us Anne’s viewpoint on the Navy:

“The navy, I think, who have done so much for us, have at least an equal claim with any other set of men, for all the comforts and all the privileges which any home can give.”

This is subtle backstory—it’s something she is saying in the moment, in response to her father’s prejudice. Yet it reveals her attitude towards those who serve in the Navy.

A few pages later, Anne is able to give specific details on what Admiral Croft is known for—that he fought in Trafalgar and has been stationed in the East Indies. Once again, this provides key backstory. As readers, we’ve learned that Anne knows much more about the Crofts than anyone in her family, yet we don’t yet know how she learned this information.

A few pages later, someone mentions that years back, someone had visited that had some connection to Admiral Croft, and after a pause, Anne volunteers a single detail.

“You mean Mr. Wentworth, I suppose,” said Anne.

Her hesitation, the lack of detail that she gives, all reveal things about Anne and her relationship with this family.

By the end of chapter 3 , Sir Walter Elliot decides that he will allow Admiral Croft to rent the estate. The chapter ends with this sentence.

No sooner had such an end been reached, than Anne, who had been a most attentive listener to the whole, left the room, to seek the comfort of cool air for her flushed cheeks; and as she walked along a favourite grove, said, with a gentle sigh, “a few months more, and he, perhaps, may be walking here.”

In this moment, we see Anne’s current emotions and thoughts, but backstory is also revealed: we are given a sense of love lost, and we see the agitation this creates for Anne.

Throughout this chapter, there have been plenty of opportunities where Jane Austen could have provided an infodump, even spots where it might be natural and not feel like an infodump. Yet by spreading the information, piece by piece, it allows the scene to build, it provokes our curiosity, it gives crucial insight into Anne’s character, and it prepares us for chapter four, when we are given a larger amount of backstory.

The first line of Chapter 4:

He was not Mr. Wentworth, the former curate of Monkford, however suspicious appearances may be, but a captain Frederick Wentworth, his brother.

The narrator then describes Captain Wentworth’s situation years before, and how he and Anne met and fell in love. It tells us of their short engagement, and how Sir Walter and Lady Russell had convinced Anne to break it off.

This is a lot of backstory, but by this point, we care about Anne and this backstory has meaning for us as readers.

Gif of Anne and Captain Wentworth in Persuasion

A gif from the 2007 film version of Persuasion: Anne and Captain Wentworth

Incorporating Information on a Need to Know Basis

Backstory is something that I often don’t get quite right in a first draft—it’s something I finesse during revision. But how do you do it? How do you weave it?

What Jane Austen often does is provide enough context ahead of time so the reader is oriented, and then adds information and backstory as the character interacts with present, current things.

For example, Uppercross is mentioned as the residence of Anne’s older sister, Mary. Mary invites Anne to go to Uppercross and she agrees. That’s our context. That’s what’s going to keep us oriented.

A few pages later, Anne goes to stay at Uppercross. Now, as she’s arriving at Uppercross, we receive a brief description of the village.

More details are given on a need-to-know basis, as they provide context, unravel character, forward the plot, and provide insights into the emotions of the characters:

Here Anne had often been staying. She knew the ways of Uppercross as well as those of Kellynch. The two families were so continually meetings, so much in the habit of running in and out of each other’s house at all hours, that it was rather a surprise to her to find Mary alone…

Here, we receive backstory on Mary’s strong connection to Uppercross. We see how familiar she is with it. And we experience this as she enters the cottage and finds her sister (surprisingly) alone.

Using Backstory to Build Moments of Emotional Impact

Backstory can also build to moments of emotional impact.

Captain Wentworth comes to Uppercross, and soon becomes friends with Anne’s host, which means that Wentworth and Anne must interact frequently.

They had no conversation together, no intercourse but what the commonest civility required. Once so much to each other! Now nothing! There had been a time, when of all the large party now filling the drawing-room at Uppercross, they would have found it most difficult to cease to speak to one another. With the exception, perhaps, of Admiral and Mrs. Croft, who seemed particularly attached and happy, (Anne could allow no other exception even among the married couples) there could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison, no countenances so beloved. Now they were as strangers; nay, worse than strangers, for the could never become acquainted. It was a perpetual estrangement.

This is a powerful, emotional moment of backstory, in which it is revealed how similar Anne and Wentworth were to each other, and how perfectly suited they had been for each other: “there could have been no two hearts so open.” Their similarity and how well suited they are for each other could have been revealed at many points of backstory prior to this, but instead, this bit of backstory is foreshadowed and saved for this moment, when it can have the greatest emotional impact because it is placed in contrast with Anne and Wentworth’s current relationship.

When you are using backstory for large emotional impact, limit the amount of backstory used. If we didn’t find out until now that Anne and Wentworth had been engaged, and then, at this moment, we found out they had been engaged and that they had been perfectly suited, this scene would be bogged down in the amount of impact, readers would be focusing on the new knowledge that they had a broken engagement, and their similarity would no longer have the space to have the same emotional impact.

When I’m editing and I see a scene where backstory is supposed to create emotional impact, I often realize that I’ve saved too much backstory for these scene, and I have to find pieces of backstory that I can weave in earlier so they aren’t distracting the reader from the true purpose and weight of the scene.

In Conclusion

Backstory should be included not only in the exposition, but throughout the entire novel. The incorporation of backstory is particularly suited to written fiction—it is much more difficult to include in film or theatre—and it provides insight into the character’s mind, perspective, experience, and emotions.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Read the following paragraph.

Sandra stood at the edge of the dock, staring into the water. She could hear the other teenagers behind her, their laughter, their utter unconcern, as if this meant nothing. This meant nothing to them. They didn’t fear the water. She dipped her toe into the lake. She would be fine. She could do this. She closed her eyes, sucked in a breath of air and courage, and jumped.

Rewrite the paragraph, and as you do so, include 1 or 2 pieces of backstory.

This backstory could be about why Sandra fears water, what happened the last time she was in the water, or what happened to someone she knows, or it could be about the troubled history of this lake, a memory from this particular spot, etc. The type of information you choose to include will impact the emotion and direction of the paragraph.

Exercise 2: Take a novel that you have read at least once before. Skip the exposition, and now skim at least two or three chapters, looking for moments of backstory. Use post-it notes to mark these moments of backstory. Now analyze the author’s use of backstory:

  • When is backstory incorporated?
  • How is backstory incorporated?
  • Are there moments where backstory is used to create emotional impact?

Exercise 3:

Take a story you have written and choose a key emotional moment that doesn’t include any backstory. Revise the scene to incorporate an element of backstory—small or large—in a way that increases the emotional impact of the moment.

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