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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #52: Different Responses to Dialogue

#52: Different Responses to Dialogue

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #52: Different Responses to Dialogue

One of the most useful practices when writing dialogue is to consider how different characters will respond to the same line of dialogue in different ways. Whenever, we have certain expectations for how we will be interpreted, for how we would like others to respond. Sometimes, they respond in the way we would expect; other times they respond differently. In a group dialogue, with three or more people, there can be—and often should be—a diverse range of responses to key lines of dialogue.

In Jane Austen’s novel Persuasion, Louisa Musgrove falls on a stone staircase and injures her head. Her illness and her recovery become a talking point in many social gatherings. Not long after the injury, Lady Russell and Anne Elliot call upon the Crofts. Jane Austen describes the conversation between Lady Russell, Anne, and Mrs. Croft, as Admiral Croft observes and then adds his perspective on the matter:

As to the sad catastrophe itself, it could be canvassed only in one style by a couple of steady, sensible women, whose judgments had to work on ascertained events; and it was perfectly decided that it had been the consequence of much thoughtfulness and much imprudence; that its effects were most alarming, and that it was frightful to think, how long Miss Musgrove’s recovery might yet be doubtful, and how liable she would still remain to suffer from the concussion hereafter!—The Admiral wound it all up summarily by exclaiming,

“Ay, a very bad business indeed.—A new sort of way this, for a young fellow to be making love, by breaking his mistress’s head!—is not it, Miss Elliot?—This is breaking a head and giving a plaister truly!”

Admiral Croft’s manners were not quite of the tone to suit Lady Russell, but they delighted Anne. His goodness of heart and simplicity of character were irresistible.

Lady Russell does not approve of Admiral Croft’s statement or the manner in which he has said it—to her, Louisa’s injury is not a laughing manner. This is not a formal, sophisticated way to speak of it. Yet we read that this response “delighted Anne.” It is not that Anne disregards propriety, but rather that she sees a place for levity, and that she understands his goodness and his character and how that informs his statement.

In a previous Jane Austen Writing Lesson, I discussed how groups of characters are not monoliths: even among very similar characters, there should be a range of perspectives and attributes.

The same is true with how characters respond to dialogue.

Factors that influence how a character responds to dialogue:

  • Their personality

  • Their expectations

  • Their knowledge of, and relationship with, the speaker

  • Their understanding of the situation and topic

  • Their wants, needs, and goals

  • Their inherent biases

In Mansfield Park, a group of individuals, which includes most of the main characters, is given a tour of the Rushworth home by Mrs. Rushworth. Mrs. Rushworth show them the chapel—which disappoints Fanny for its lack of grandeur—and explains:

“It is a handsome chapel, and was formerly in constant use both morning and evening. Prayers were always read in it by the domestic chaplain, within the memory of many. But the late Mr. Rushworth left it off.”

Miss Crawford interprets this dialogue very differently than Fanny:

“Every generation has its improvements,” said Miss Crawford, with a smile, to Edmund….

“It is a pity,” cried Fanny, “that the custom should have been discontinued. It was a valuable part of former times. There is something in a chapel and chaplain so much in character with a great house, with one’s ideas of what such a household should be! A whole family assembling regularly for the purpose of prayer is fine!”

The differences in their reactions to Mrs. Rushworth’s dialogue reveal much about Miss Crawford and Fanny. Fanny is pious and has grand visions of morality, while Miss Crawford is more cynical.

Yet the dialogue does not stop there—each of the characters continue to bring themselves to the discussion. Fanny’s statement is immediately interpreted in two different ways:

“Very fine indeed!” said Miss Crawford, laughing. “It must do the heads of the family a great deal of good to force all the poor housemaids and footmen to leave business and pleasure, and say their prayers here twice a day, while they are inventing excuses themselves for staying away.”

“That is hardly Fanny’s idea of a family assembling,” said Edmund. “If the master and mistress do not attend themselves, there must be more harm than good in the custom.”

Miss Crawford’s interpretation shows an awareness of class disparity and the way in which upper class people often force their morality on those in their employ while disregarding the same principles of morality for themselves. It’s both a clever and an insightful comment. And it also treats Fanny’s perspective as inadequate and uninformed.

Edmund’s response defends Fanny, in part because of the long-established relationship that he has with Fanny, and his understanding of her meaning. But his response also stems from the fact that he intends to become a clergyman and also sees value in religious practices.

Later on in the scene, Edmund’s sister Julia tells a joke about Maria and Mr. Rushworth being ready for marriage, and tells Edmund:

“My dear Edmund, if you were but in orders now, you might perform the ceremony directly.”

Miss Crawford is shocked by this new information:

“Ordained!” said Miss Crawford; “what, are you to be a clergyman?”

“Yes; I shall take orders soon after my father’s return—probably at Christmas.”

Miss Crawford, rallying her spirits, and recovering her complexion, replied only, “If I had known this before, I would have spoken of the cloth with more respect,” and turned the subject.

This new knowledge makes Miss Crawford wish that she had responded differently to the previous lines of dialogue. She was trying to impress Edmund with her insights and clever way of speaking, but was missing information that would have shifted her response.

In writing group dialogue, it is useful to consider that different characters will often respond to the same passage of dialogue in different ways. Incorporating these differences can richer dialogue with more tension and movement.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons
The Response Game

Exercise 1: The Response Game

Choose 5 characters. These could be characters you’ve already written, characters from one of your favorite books or films (for example, Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley, Miss Caroline Bingley, Elizabeth Bennet, and Jane Bennet), or characters that are inspired by people in your life.

Now watch a trailer for a new or upcoming movie. How would each of the five characters respond differently to this trailer?

Craft a 2-3 sentence response for each of the characters to this movie trailer.

Exercise 2: A Practice Scene

Write a brief scene with three characters. Have one of the characters say a line of dialogue which is interpreted differently by the characters. something, and then the other two characters respond in different manners. The responses can be largely internal or largely external; they can be in the form of dialogue, action, or introspection. The characters may also have the same external reaction or action, but for different reasons.

Exercise 3: Dialogue Analysis and Revision

Part 1: Analyze a passage of dialogue in a published short story or novel. The passage of dialogue should include at least three characters. Consider when characters respond differently to the same line of dialogue, and what motivates this response.

Part 2: Revise a scene you have written which includes dialogue between at least three characters. Are there places where you could strengthen the passage by having the characters respond differently to the dialogue?

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons #50: Use Dialogue Tags for Rhythm and Cadence

#50: Use Dialogue Tags for Rhythm and Cadence

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons #50: Use Dialogue Tags for Rhythm and Cadence

In Northanger Abbey, Catherine Morland and her friend Isabella Thorpe are conversing in the Pump-Room, a building in the town of Bath that was a popular gathering place. For quite some time, they are watched by several men, but then the men leave. Isabella pretends that she is grateful for their departure; however, she is actually disappointed that they have left and secretly wants to follow them.

Isabella says:

“Well, I am amazingly glad I have got rid of them! And now, what say you to going to Edgar’s Buildings with me, and looking at my new hat? You said you should like to see it.”

Catherine readily agreed. “Only,” she added, “perhaps we may overtake the two young men.”

The key dialogue tag in this passage is she added. As we discussed in the previous lesson on dialogue tags, she added could be considered a functional dialogue tag, a dialogue tag which shows how what the character is saying is functioning within the larger conversation. First Catherine agrees with her friend, and then what she says adds to—and modifies—her previous statement.

Yet she added is doing more than just telling us the role that her statement plays in the conversation. Its placement controls the rhythm of the paragraph and indicates the cadence of Catherine’s speech.

Jane Austen regularly uses dialogue tags for rhythm and cadence, and doing so is a powerful tool that can be used in any fictional genre.

Let’s define rhythm and cadence as we’ll use them in this lesson.

Definitions: Rhythm and Cadence in Dialogue

Rhythm in dialogue: patterns of language and sound in a passage which create an underlying beat. Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Rhythm is patterns of language and sound in a passage which create an underlying beat. Poetry sometimes uses strict meters, or rhythm patterns, but there is rhythm in prose as well, and the beat and speed and emphasis created by the rhythm in prose effects both the feel and the speed at which we read. Rhythm is particularly important as we consider dialogue, for dialogue is meant to be spoken aloud. Rhythm can have a powerful effect on the reader both when a beat is created or when it is broken—interrupted.

Cadence is how a person’s voice changes as they speak, both rising and lowering. In most cases, a speaker’s voice is not level or flat across a passage of dialogue: tone and pitch and emphasis change with the content of what someone is saying, and how they feel about it.

Much of the rhythm and cadence of a passage of dialogue is determined by the words and phrasing of the dialogue itself, however, rhythm and cadence can also be impacted by the dialogue tags.

Let’s consider again the line from Northanger Abbey:

Catherine readily agreed. “Only,” she added, “perhaps we may overtake the two young men.”

We can almost hear Catherine’s cadence as we read. She agrees with her friend, probably saying something like, “Of course, I would love to join you.” And then we have an “Only,” she added. It reads almost as an interruption—she’s likely raised her voice slightly, and she’s pausing after it, as if she has just realized the problem with Isabella’s proposal.

During Isabella’s statement—the proposal of activities—and Catherine readily agreed we have a steady rhythm, almost a beat. It’s smooth, nothing accentuated. But then “Only,” she added breaks the smooth rhythm—the forced pause is like an orchestra suddenly stopping all sound for a beat, which adds emphasis to what comes after.

Dialogue Tag Placement

One of the most common techniques that Jane Austen uses to control rhythm and cadence is to choose where to use a dialogue tag, whether it’s a he said, said Catherine, or an action that substitutes for a dialogue tag.

Consider the following passage of dialogue, from the first time that Catherine Morland and Mr. Tilney meet at a ball:

Mr. Tilney was polite enough to seem interested in what she said; and she kept him on the subject of muslins till the dancing recommenced. Catherine feared, as she listened to their discourse, that he indulged himself a little too much with the foibles of others. – “What are you thinking of so earnestly?” said he, as they walked back to the ball-room;—“not of your partner, I hope, for by that shake of the head, your meditations are not satisfactory.”

Catherine coloured, and said, “I was not thinking of any thing.”

“That is artful and deep, to be sure; but I had rather be told at once that you will not tell me.”

If a dialogue tag is used, there are three primary places where it can be placed: before the dialogue, partway through the dialogue (often after a word, sentence, or phrase), and after the dialogue.

One approach that Austen particularly seems to favor is providing the tag partway through the dialogue. This allows a build-up before the dialogue tag—we’re interested in what is being said. Then we are given a physical pause or beat that also serves to provide who is speaking and sometimes how they are speaking or what they are doing. This is followed by more dialogue, which completes the character’s self-expression.

Instead of placing the dialogue tag in the middle of the paragraph, Austen could have written:

As they walked back to the ballroom, Mr. Tilney said, “What are you thinking of so earnestly? Not of your partner, I hope, for by that shake of the head, your meditations are not satisfactory.”

This eliminates the pause after his question—he immediately says the next statement. It also eliminates some of the implied cadence—modulation of his tone—in his question.

The dialogue tag could also have been placed at the end:

“What are you thinking of so earnestly? Not of your partner, I hope, for by that shake of the head, your meditations are not satisfactory,” said Mr. Tilney as they walked back to the ballroom.

Often, a dialogue tag at the end works best for shorter pieces of dialogue—we don’t want to read five or six sentences of dialogue, and then find out who is speaking. This dialogue is of a length that works well with the tag at the end, but it has a different rhythm than what Austen has chosen:

“What are you thinking of so earnestly?” said he, as they walked back to the ball-room;—“not of your partner, I hope, for by that shake of the head, your meditations are not satisfactory.”

Now consider the placement of the dialogue tag in Catherine’s response:

Catherine coloured, and said, “I was not thinking of any thing.”

In part, placing it at the start is necessary, because Catherine blushes as an immediate response to his statement, and then she speaks. However, placing it at the start also impacts how we understand her tone and her volume—we assume she is embarrassed, and likely speaking more quietly, and more quickly, than earlier.

Unnecessary (Yet Rhythmically Appropriate) Dialogue Tags

Another technique that Austen uses is to incorporate dialogue tags that, strictly speaking, are unnecessary—we already know who is speaking, and the dialogue tag doesn’t provide information about the function of the dialogue, how the dialogue is spoken, what emotion is used, etc. Yet these “unnecessary” dialogue tags are used to impact either the rhythm, the cadence, or both.

Later in Northanger Abbey, John Thorpe decides to take Catherine Morland’s future into his own hands. He knows that Catherine has plans to do something with the Tilneys, but he wants Catherine to do something with him, so he goes to the Tilney’s and cancels Catherine’s engagement. He then informs Catherine that she is now available to do something with him:

“Now, my sweet Catherine, all our distresses are over; you are honourably acquitted, and we shall have a most delightful party.”

“This will not do,” said Catherine; “I cannot submit to this. I must run after Miss Tilney directly and set her right.”

The phrase said Catherine is unnecessary—it is clear that Catherine is speaking, and she just been directly addressed by Mr. Thorpe, so readers will assume that the next dialogue is Catherine’s. And, as discussed in the previous lesson on dialogue tags, Austen often omits dialogue tags in cases like this when it is clear who is speaking.

Yet including the dialogue effects the rhythm—we feel Catherine’s pause after her statement, which punctuates both “This will not do” and “I cannot submit to this.” It also affects her cadence. When I read this passage aloud, I naturally read “This will do not do” at a standard tone, and then I read “I cannot submit to this” a little higher and faster.

In Conclusion: The Power of Dialogue Tags

Dialogue tags are powerful. They can:

  • Attribute dialogue to a speaker

  • Indicate the function of a line of dialogue within a passage

  • Show how someone is speaking

  • Convey the emotion of a speaker or listener

  • Describe the actions that are taken in conjunction with the dialogue

And, as discussed in this lesson, dialogue tags can also

  • Impact the rhythm of the passage

  • Shift the cadence of the speakers

In the following passage, the dialogue tags do all of these things.

While walking on the street, Catherine has just run into her brother, James Morland, and his friend, John Thorpe. The men are theoretically speaking to Catherine, but they are truly speaking to each other:

[John Thorpe] took out his watch: “How long do you think we have been running it from Tetbury, Miss Morland?”

“I do not know the distance.” Her brother told her that it was twenty-three miles.

“Three-and-twenty!” cried Thorpe; “five-and-twenty if it is an inch.” Morland remonstrated, pleaded the authority of roadbooks, innkeepers, and milestones; but his friend disregarded them all; he had a surer test of distance. “I know it must be five-and-twenty,” said he, “by the time we have been doing it. It is now half after one; we drove out of the inn-yard at Tetbury as the town-clock struck eleven; and I defy any man in England to make my horse go less than ten miles an hour in harness; that makes it exactly twenty-five.”

“You have lost an hour,” said Morland; “it was only ten o’clock when we came from Tetbury.”

“Ten o’clock! it was eleven, upon my soul! I counted every stroke. This brother of yours would persuade me out of my senses, Miss Morland; do but look at my horse; did you ever see an animal so made for speed in your life?” (The servant had just mounted the carriage and was driving off.) “Such true blood! Three hours and a half indeed coming only three-and-twenty miles! look at that creature, and suppose it possible if you can.”

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Playing with another author’s dialogue tags

Another author… what types of dialogue tags do they use. Choose a passage with multiple dialogue tags and read it aloud. Now rewrite the passage with moved to different places and read it aloud.

Exercise 2: Every possible variation

Write a snatch of dialogue—one to three sentences of a single character speaking. Now try to create as many variations of it as possible without changing the words of the dialogue itself.

Things you can vary:

  • Placement of dialogue tag (beginning, middle, end)
  • Type of dialogue tag (said, a functional dialogue tag like replied or added, a descriptive dialogue like whispered)
  • Conveying emotion or how the character is speaking through the dialogue tag
  • Using adverbs or character actions
  • Using no dialogue tag at all

How many variations were you able to create? Read them aloud and consider how it affects the interpretation of the dialogue, as well as the rhythm and the cadence. Now choose your favorite. (Note: it’s normally important to consider the context—the passage or scene as a whole—when choosing how to use dialogue tags for a single unit of dialogue.)

Exercise 3: Adjusting your own rhythm and cadence

Choose a scene that you have written in a short story or novel which includes between two and four paragraphs or lines of sequential dialogue. Rewrite the passage to create a different rhythm and cadence. Now read aloud the original version followed by the new version. Which do you prefer and why?

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #49: When to Use Dialogue Tags (and How)

#49: When to Use Dialogue Tags (and How)

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #49: When to Use Dialogue Tags (and How)

Jane Austen is a master of dialogue, and the next series of lessons will focus on what we can learn from Jane Austen on writing dialogue in fiction. This post will specifically address when to use dialogue tags—and how.

While dialogue tags are often taught as an introductory writing technique, Austen uses them in advanced ways, to control rhythm and cadence, and to convey emotion and conflict. Many times, she chooses to forgo dialogue tags entirely. We’ll start with a basic definition of dialogue tags, analyze her sophisticated use of tags in a passage from Pride and Prejudice, and consider the question of when to use dialogue tags, and when to omit them entirely.

Dialogue Tag Definition. Dialogue: a phrase that identifies the speaker of a passage of dialogue

A dialogue tag is a phrase that identifies the speaker of a passage of dialogue.

In English, the most commonly used dialogue tag is the word “said” accompanied by the name of a character or a pronoun.

Often dialogue tags are used for clarity and to prevent confusion. Dialogue tags can also be used to add a pause, or to describe how or why a character is speaking.

Instead of using a dialogue tag, an action beat can be used—if a character is acting or doing something, then we assume that the dialogue within the passage also belongs to them.

Dialogue Tag Example: The Meryton Assembly

The Meryton assembly is the first time that we meet the single and ever-so-desirable characters, Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy.

Consider the use of dialogue tags and action beats in this passage in which Mr. Bingley attempts to convince Mr. Darcy to dance:

“Come, Darcy,” said he, “I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance.”

“I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this, it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.”

“I would not be so fastidious as you are,” cried Bingley, “for a kingdom! Upon my honour, I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty.”

“You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,” said Mr. Darcy, looking at the eldest Miss Bennet.

“Oh! she is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you.”

“Which do you mean?” and turning round, he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said, “She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me.”

In this passage, there are three dialogue tags which use said: said he, said Mr. Darcy, and coldly said. There is one dialogue tag which uses a different verb: cried Bingley. This shows both Mr. Bingley’s emotion and the manner in which he is speaking. There is one spot where an action beat is used instead of a dialogue tag: “Which do you mean?” and turning round, he looked for a moment at Elizabeth… (This phrasing works well in Pride and Prejudice, but as a note, modern dialogue conventions often—but not always—split the action beat into a separate sentence. If this convention was used, this paragraph could be written something like: “Which do you mean?” He turned round and looked for a moment at Elizabeth.)

Using Said vs. Other Dialogue Tags

Using Said vs. Other Dialogue Tags

The author Elliott Slaughter performed a study of dialogue tags, and one of the texts that he analyzed was Pride and Prejudice. He found that 50% of Austen’s dialogue tags used the word “said.”

In English, “said” is seen as an invisible dialogue tag. It does its job, assigning dialogue to the speaker, but we aren’t meant to really notice or pay attention to it. Often, we don’t want the reader to be focusing on the dialogue tag—we want them to focus on the dialogue itself, and strong dialogue often gives a feel of how the speaker is speaking on its own, without extra description. In the brilliant book Craft in the Real World, Matthew Salesses explains that said being seen as invisible is just a cultural convention, and is not inherently better or right. Non-native English speakers sometimes find the constant use of the word said to be jarring, while those who have read hundreds of books in English become used to it.

Endless authors and books on writing recommend that writers primarily use the word said in dialogue tags, and to use other verbs minimally or not at all. Largely, I agree—a lot of the time, you do want the dialogue tag to be invisible, and if you’re constantly using other verbs, it can distract or become annoying. Yet when we read Pride and Prejudice we can see how effectively Austen uses other dialogue tags.

According to Elliott Slaughter, while 50% of Austen’s dialogue tags use the word said, 32% of the time she uses “functional dialogue tags”—tags which “indicate the function or role of a piece of dialogue.” The functional dialogue tags Austen uses include replied, added, continued, thought, repeated, and answered. Another common functional dialogue tag in fiction is asked. 18% of the time Austen uses “descriptive dialogue tags”—“verbs that describe the manner, mood or inflection of the speech and not simply its function or form.” The descriptive dialogue tags used by Austen include cried, observed, exclaimed, called, and whispered.

In a previous Jane Austen Writing Lesson, I talked in more depth about how characters say lines of dialogue; one method of doing so is to incorporate actions or adverbs. The only thing I’ll add here is an extra detail from Slaughter’s study—at 14 points in Pride and Prejudice, Austen uses an adverb to describe how someone says something. The adverbs she uses include impatiently, warmly, drily, stoutly, and resentfully.

In the passage between Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley, there were two paragraphs of dialogue that did not include any dialogue tags or action beats. The paragraph that begins “I certainly shall not” is Mr. Darcy’s dialogue, while the paragraph that begins “Oh! she is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld!” is Mr. Bingley’s.

Omitting a dialogue tag focuses the reader on what the characters are saying, and it increases the pace by which we read the dialogue. In Austen’s novels, dialogue tags are used only if they are necessary for comprehension, if they will positively impact the rhythm or cadence, or if they truly add something to the reader’s understanding of the characters and their conversation. The rest of the time, she does not include dialogue tags.

In Elliott Slaughter’s study on dialogue tags in Pride and Prejudice, he found that for 51% of the dialogue, Austen does not use a dialogue tag or any sort of attribution. This is especially common during conversations between two characters. In some passages, the identity of the speakers will be made clear once, either at the start of the conversation or in the actions before the conversation, and then Austen will give five, six, or ten lines of dialogue without any tags or attributions. While it’s easiest to omit dialogue tags if there are only two characters, Austen often omits tags in conversations with larger groups of characters.

In a later scene in Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy’s makes a declaration on Mr. Bingley’s tractability, and then we read:

“You have only proved by this,” cried Elizabeth, “that Mr. Bingley did not do justice to his own disposition. You have shown him off now much more than he did himself.”

“I am exceedingly gratified,” said Bingley, “by your converting what my friend says into a compliment on the sweetness of my temper. But I am afraid you are giving it a turn which that gentleman did by no means intend; for he would certainly think the better of me, if under such a circumstance I were to give a flat denial, and ride off as fast as I could.”

“Would Mr. Darcy then consider the rashness of your original intention as atoned for by your obstinacy in adhering to it?”

“Upon my word, I cannot exactly explain the matter, Darcy must speak for himself.”

“You expect me to account for opinions which you choose to call mine, but which I have never acknowledged. Allowing the case, however, to stand according to your representation, you must remember, Miss Bennet, that the friend who is supposed to desire his return to the house, and the delay of his plan, has merely desired it, asked it without offering one argument in favour of its propriety.”

“To yield readily—easily—to the persuasion of a friend is no merit with you.”

“To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either.”

The first two paragraphs include dialogue tags, for Elizabeth and Mr. Bingley, but then the rest of this dialogue we can assume by context that the lines belong to Elizabeth, Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth, and then Mr. Darcy. Descriptions of how these characters are speaking is not necessary—we know them and can make assumptions on their tone and mannerisms based solely on what they say.

There are a few places in Pride and Prejudice where the speaker is unclear, which has led to rather exciting scholarly debates. In a letter about Pride and Prejudice which Jane Austen wrote to her sister Cassandra, she said,

There are a few typical errors; and a “said he,” or a “said she,” would sometimes make the dialogue more immediately clear; but “I do not write for such dull elves” as have not a great deal of ingenuity themselves.

While Austen wished she had added a few more uses of “said he” and “said she,” the fact is that there are 633 lines of dialogue in Pride and Prejudice which do not include dialogue tags, and, with a few possible exceptions, they are not necessary in these passages. As you consider what sorts of dialogue tags you want to use in your own writing, consider also when to use dialogue tags, and when to omit them.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Dialogue Analysis

Choose a book that you admire written by an author who is not Jane Austen. Take a scene or a chapter and analyze the author’s use of dialogue tags. How often do they use the verb said? Do they also use other verbs as dialogue tags? Are action beats used instead of, or in addition to, dialogue tags. Are adverbs or other descriptions of how the character speak used? How often are dialogue tags omitted?

Exercise 2: Omitting Dialogue Tags

Take a scene of dialogue you have written and see how dialogue tags and action beats you can remove without making it unclear who is speaking.

Exercise 3: Dialogue as Style

How you use dialogue tags is an extension of your style as a writer—the choices you consistently make contribute to the overall style of the text. Write a brief scene of dialogue between two to four characters. Now, revise the scene using two different dialogue tag styles. Here are a few options:

  • Style 1: Use only invisible dialogue tags (i.e. said) and omit other dialogue tags.
  • Style 2: Lean heavy on action beats, though other dialogue tags are allowed.
  • Style 3: Jane Austen style. Omit about half the dialogue tags; when you do use dialogue tags, have about half of them be the verb said and half be other verbs.
  • Style 4: Wide range of tags. Use at least one said, one functional dialogue tag (i.e. asked, replied, etc.), one descriptive dialogue tag (i.e. cried, whispered, exclaimed, or said + adverb), and one action beat.
  • Style 5: Another approach to dialogue tags of your choosing.

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#22: Reveal Characters Through Dialogue

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Jane Austen Writing Lessons. #22: Reveal Characters Through Dialogue

The opening scene of dialogue in Sense and Sensibility belongs not to the main characters, but rather, to their relations. At the beginning of the novel, Mr. Henry Dashwood is dead, and his son, Mr. John Dashwood, has inherited everything; despite Henry’s desires, his second wife and their daughters get nothing from the property. Yet before his death, Henry made his son John promise to take care of his step-mother and three half-sisters.

After this exposition, which is provided by the narrator, the first dialogue of the novel is between John Dashwood and his wife, Fanny Dashwood:

“It was my father’s last request to me,” replied her husband, “that I should assist his widow and daughters.”

“He did not know what he was talking of, I dare say; ten to one but he was light-headed at the time. Had he been in his right senses, he could not have thought of such a thing as begging you to give away half your fortune from your own child.”

“He did not stipulate for any particular sum, my dear Fanny; he only requested me, in general terms, to assist them, and make their situation more comfortable than it was in his power to do. Perhaps it would have been as well if he had left it wholly to myself. He could hardly suppose I should neglect them. But as he required the promise, I could not do less than give it: at least I thought so at the time. The promise, therefore, was given, and must be performed. Something must be done for them whenever they leave Norland and settle in a new home.”

“Well, then, let something be done for them; but that something need not be three thousand pounds.”

From this dialogue, we can already paint a picture of who John and Fanny are, in much more vivid terms than pages of description would provide. John feels familial obligation, and Fanny does not want him to fulfill this obligation to the extent he has planned, which we assume is for selfish reasons.

Good dialogue brings characters to life: it is as if they have stepped from the page and we are watching them, animated before us.

Last week, I talked about using moments of tension to reveal characters to the reader. Effective dialogue is another powerful way to quickly reveal characters to the reader.

While John had planned to give 3000 pounds to his sisters—1000 apiece—he proposes that he cut it in half, giving each of them 500 pounds. And the conversation continues:

“Oh! beyond anything great! What brother on earth would do half so much for his sisters, even if really his sisters! And as it is—only half blood!—But you have such a generous spirit!”

“I would not wish to do any thing mean,” he replied. “One had rather, on such occasions, do too much than too little. No one, at least, can think I have not done enough for them: even themselves, they can hardly expect more.”

“There is no knowing what they may expect,” said the lady, “but we are not to think of their expectations: the question is, what you can afford to do.”

Fanny is skilled at knowing how to maneuver her husband: she praises him for his generosity, and then claims that this is way beyond what anyone would do. She then shifts the conversation to their needs, and ultimately, she will appeal again to the future, hypothetical needs of their young son.

Jane Austen truly has some of the best dialogue of any writer. I could probably write an entire book about how Jane Austen employs dialogue throughout her novels. (Please don’t challenge me to do so—I may not be able to resist the temptation!) In a previous post, I addressed some initial ways that Jane Austen creates dynamic character interactions through dialogue. This post takes it one step further, looking at how dialogue reveals character.

From analyzing Austen’s use of dialogue, I’ve distilled 4 questions that I like to ask myself as I write dialogue for my characters.

4 Key Questions to Ask When Writing Dialogue

1. What is the conversational goal of each of the characters in this conversation?

The writer Kurt Vonnegut famously said, “Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.”

Every character comes into a conversation with a different perspective, a different history and personality, and a different relationship with the subject matter. In turn, this creates a different goal. Even people who are close to each other and know each other well, like family members or close friends, come into a conversation with a different goal. Often, a conversational want will be related, in some way, to a character’s larger, overreaching wants and needs in the story.

In this scene in Sense and Sensibility, John wants to do his duty to his father, and he also wants to feel good about himself—he wants to feel morally justified. Fanny, on the other hand, desperately wants to keep all of the money they have just inherited. However, she also wants her husband to feel good about his decisions and comfortable with moral positioning, and she does not want to damage their relationship or come off as cruel and unfeeling.

2. What is the relationship between the characters?

Readers can judge characters’ relationships with each other through a passage of dialogue. This is because relationships always influence the tone of the dialogue, the flow, the approach, and the outcome.

Relationships will determine how open or closed a character is with their intentions. It will impact what they are comfortable saying. It will demonstrate what is at stake for a character.

Some characters, like Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice, have no compunction with asserting themselves and speaking their mind in front of a stranger in a position of power and authority, as Elizabeth does to Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and this fact does much to reveal Elizabeth’s character.

When characters shift their behavior because of their relationships, or behave with deference or authority, respect or disdain, it once again is revelatory.

From just a few lines of dialogue, readers can typically determine much about character relationships and their history with each other.

In this opening passage in Sense and Sensibility, the dynamics of John and Fanny’s marriage are made clear, as are other relationships: the relationship between John and his father; the relationships between John, his stepmother, and his half-sisters; and the relationship (or lack of substantial relationship) Fanny has with any of these other characters.

The dynamics become more complication when it shifts from a dialogue between two characters and a dialogue between a larger number of characters. For instance, in a dialogue between four, five, or six characters, there is a web of relationships: individual relationships between each set of characters, and relationships between each individual character and the group as a whole, particularly is someone is an outsider or less established in the group.

3. How is what each character says interpreted by the other characters?

Listening is a constant act of interpreting: interpreting someone’s words and gestures and expressions for meaning and purpose. This interpretation is influenced by a character’s relationships, current emotional state, background on the subject matter, and personality.

When a character interprets another character’s speech, they react both internally—they could impact their mood, their perspective, etc.—and externally, by what they say and do, both immediately and over time.

Throughout this passage, John listens to his wife intently, and he accepts her praise and flattery and justifications. He interprets anything she says favorably, as if she has said it with the best intent.

Before this scene, in the exposition, the narrator tells us of Mr. John Dashwood:

He was not an ill-disposed young man, unless to be rather cold-hearted, and rather selfish, is to be ill-disposed: but he was, in general, well respected; for he conducted himself with propriety in the discharge of his ordinary duties. Had he married a more amiable woman, he might have been made still more respectable than he was:–he might even have been made amiable himself; for he was very young when he was married, and very fond of his wife. But Mrs. John Dashwood was a strong caricature of himself;–more narrow-minded and selfish.

While the narrator has already explained John’s character, here we see it in action as he interprets Fanny’s words and then acts on them.

Cover of The Jane Austen Project by Kathleen A. Flynn

In the novel The Jane Austen Project, two time travelers, Rachel and Liam, journey to Jane Austen’s time in an attempt to recover an unpublished novel she has written. In first person, we experience the dialogue and Rachel’s interpretation of it:

I was here. We’d done it.

“Are you all right?” I asked again. Liam groaned but rolled over, sat up, and scanned our surroundings of field, birch, and hedgerow. The portal location had been chosen well; nobody was here.

“It’s dusk,” I explained. “That’s why it all looks like this.” He turned toward me, dark eyebrows arching in a question. “In case you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t.” His words came slowly, voice soft. “But thanks.”

I looked at him sideways, trying to decide if he was being sarcastic, and hoped so. In our time together at the institute preparing for the mission, something about Liam had always eluded me. He was too reserved; you never knew about people like that.

At this point in the novel, she clearly does not know Liam very well, and does not know what to make of his words. And yet she must make an interpretation of them in order to continue acting and speaking.

Conversation is a constant act of not just speaking, but of analyzing and coming to conclusions. The conclusions that characters come to reveal who they are to the reader.

4. How susceptible are the characters to influence?

Words are tools of power: we use them to shift and impact reality. How much a character is willing to be influenced by other characters will depend not just on the relationship between characters, but also on character’s relationship to the subject matter.

John Dashwood already is selfish—he cares about money, which makes him more susceptible to persuasion—and he does not have a strong sense of loyalty to his mother and half-sisters.

Yet even though these things make him more inclined to be influenced, Fanny’s delivery is still an important aspect. If she had started with, “We shouldn’t give them anything,” John would have likely found it much less palatable than her bringing him their by degrees.

Fanny, on the other hand, is much less prone to influence in this situation. Her husband makes concession after concession, but she will not stop until she has reached her full goal.

Near the end of the chapter, Fanny says:

“Indeed, to say the truth, I am convinced within myself that your father had no idea of your giving them any money at all.”

She continues on in this manner, and manages to completely convince her husband:

“Upon my word,” said Mr. Dashwood, “I believe you are perfectly right. My father certainly could mean nothing more by his request to me than what you say. I clearly understand it now, and I will strictly fulfill my engagement by such acts of assistance and kindness to them as you have described.”

And thus, by this single conversation, the lives of Mrs. Dashwood, Elinor, Marianne, and Margaret, are forever, irrevocably changed.

In Conclusion

Dialogue is a powerful tool to reveal characters. At any point in the narrative, dialogue will impact our view of characters. The first conversation in which we see a particular character is particularly powerful in its ability to form our initial snapshot of who the character is and the role she will play in the story.

Writing Exercises - Jane Austen Writing Lessons

Exercise 1: Read the following short dialogue passage between two (currently unnamed) characters.

“I think we should go with the chips and salsa. It’s easy, inexpensive, and can take care of a lot of people.”

“I think the fruit platter would be better. It’s a lot healthier, and it doesn’t cost that much more.”

“True, but people want something that’s a treat.”

“Strawberries are a treat.”

“Maybe we should just get both.”

Right now, the dialogue is bland, impersonal, and boring. It has no weight in a (hypothetical) story. But you can change that!

Rewrite the dialogue two times, each time taking a different approach in your decision-making:

  • Choose who the characters are, and what their relationship is to each other (i.e. strangers thrust together, someone and their ex-, coworkers, estranged family members)
  • What is at stake for the characters? Why does this matter to them? What are their goals, and do they differ?
  • How do they interpret what the other character says? How susceptible are each of these characters to influence?

Depending on how much time you have, you could set a timer and rewrite the dialogue in 5 to 10 minutes, or you could spend longer if you’d like. You can change anything about the dialogue, and if it’s useful, add description and action. Use this as a launching point and see what happens.

Exercise 2: Track your personal conversations for a day. Who do you speak to? How do your relationships impact your conversations? How do your conversational goals differ from one conversation to the next? How much are you influenced by your conversations, and how much do you influence others?

Exercise 3: What is one of your favorite lines of dialogue? This could be from a book, a short story, or a film. Now go to that scene and analyze the entire passage of dialogue. In particular, consider:

  • Conversational goals
  • Character relationships
  • How the characters interpret each other’s words
  • How much the characters are susceptible to persuasion

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