On Our Differences: Synesthesia, Mental Illness and Creativity, and “The Clockwork Seer”
I originally wrote this as a guest post for jancipatterson.com. It’s been over a year since it was published, and a year since the release of my novelette “The Clockwork Seer,” so I’m republishing the post here.
Art: “Color Cave in the Sea of Synesthesia” by garlandcannon via flickr, Creative Commons license
All of us have differences, things that set us apart. It’s a common observation that in high school people either hide those differences to try to fit in, or they flaunt then. High school and its social angst aside, our differences can be frustrating, even challenging.
A few years ago I was part of a writer’s group. We spent hours every month at Whole Foods discussing writing and life. Our conversations touched on things which helped me through some of my later struggles.
Many in the group had experienced depression at one point or another, a mental illness that is more common among artistic people than among the general population. (According to Swedish researchers, it’s even more common among writers). One of my friends spoke of her struggles with anxiety and described her panic attacks. About six months later, I was at home, stressed, and suddenly my heart started pounding uncontrollably. I couldn’t breathe, my body shook, and I felt like I would die. Because of my friend, I knew it wasn’t a heart attack: it was a panic attack.
It was also in my writer’s group that I first heard of synesthesia—a condition shared by three of those in the group.
Art: Synesthesia by FitoComics via Deviant Art, Creative Commons license
According to Science Daily, synesthesia is “a neurological condition in which two or more bodily sensations are coupled.” There are currently more than sixty known types of synesthesia. By some estimates, one percent of the population has some form of synesthesia. One of the common forms of synesthesia relates to color. Someone might associate each letter or number with a different color (“A” might always look red). In some forms of synesthesia, different numbers inhabit different spaces, and could be perceived as closer or farther. Other people with synesthesia hear shapes or taste sounds.
Recent research demonstrates that “synesthetes have stronger connections between different brain areas…Those connections lead to a triggering effect, where a stimulus in one part of the brain would cause activity in another.”
When I started drafting “The Clockwork Seer,” I never set out to write a character with synesthesia. It was not in my outline. But as soon as I wrote the first paragraph I realized that synesthesia was what made Medina different than those around her, more so than being a seer and having a typewriter in her hip. Because of her synesthesia, she connects people, experiences, and emotions with tastes and smells.
And because Medina has synesthesia, whenever her clairvoyance strikes it overwhelms her, the images, tastes, smells, and sounds becoming so magnified as to be crippling. As a result, her friend the Tinker installed clockwork parts in Medina’s body which dampen the effects of her visions.
Medina lives on a large, highly populated island, isolated from the mainland. Due to geography and perhaps geology, most of those living on the island finds themselves with an island gift, though Medina has one of the larger ones. One of the perennial questions on the island is are these gifts, or are they actually curses?
Medina tends to side with the curses theory. At the beginning of “The Clockwork Seer” she wishes that she were normal, that her visions would leave her alone so she could live a normal life.
And don’t we all at times?
Art: Microglacier by Jason Samfield via flickr, Creative Commons license
I spent several years suffering from depression of different levels of severity. I remember giving my toddler a box of yarn to play with (in other words, tangle). I would curl up under a table and cry for hours, wishing the pain would go away, that I could be normal, or at least even a glimpse of who I used to be.
Depression treatments, books, speaking with a counselor, and medication, are all a bit like Medina’s clockwork parts, and make it possible to survive with a mental illness.
Yet Medina’s synesthesia and clairvoyance are only partly curses. They are a beautiful component of her, which give her advantages. It is the same with depression and other mental illnesses.
A 2003 study by researchers from the University of Toronto and Harvard showed that creative people “appear to be more open to incoming stimuli from the surrounding environment” and less able to ignore or shut out stimuli. That’s a trait that is also associated with psychosis, yet can be beneficial for a writer or artist. Psychology professor Jordan Peterson explains, “The normal person classifies an object, and then forgets about it, even though that object is much more complex and interesting than he or she thinks. The creative person, by contrast, is always open to new possibilities.”
Creative people have much higher rates of bipolar disorder or manic depression, but this also gives them a larger emotional range which studies propose may aid in creativity (a different study proposes a genetic link between these disorders and creativity).
Art: Intermezzo Abstract by Peter & Ute Grahlmann via flickr, Creative Commons license
One researcher, Simon Kyaga, explained, “If one takes the view that certain phenomena associated with the patient’s illness are beneficial, it opens the way for a new approach to treatment. In that case, the doctor and patient must come to an agreement on what is to be treated, and at what cost.”
One of my good friends can’t write when she is taking depression medication. The medication eliminates the emotional range she needs for her stories, and her drive to write. Other friends manage their illnesses and write better when they are taking medication.
While I am grateful I no longer face depression on a daily basis, I can’t look at my experiences with depression from an attitude of regret. They are part of who I am. Depression made me willing to put my characters through hard things, it taught me about emotion and desire, and it gave me a need to write and make meaning out of life.
I still have days when I wake up and can feel the chemical imbalance in my body. I feel worthless, even though cognitively I know it is not true. On some days I feel depressed even when I practice dozens of self-treatment approaches that normally work on me. On very hard days, I remind myself, “I feel deeply. I embrace every feeling, every experience, for it will help me tell stories.”
We can flee from the things that make us different and try to hide them from others or ourselves. Or we can let our differences be a part of us—manage them, prevent what is preventable, cure what is curable, but realize that the things that give us struggle can give us much more than just that.
One of the reasons I love being a part of the anthology Steel and Bone is that each of the stories addresses things that make people different. It’s a common trait in the steampunk genre as a whole. Yes, there are standard steampunk tropes: cool, steam-powered machinery, gears and gadgets, punked-out Victorian costumes, automatons and the like. Yet steampunk also addresses deep, rich questions: Can I control my fate or overcome my circumstance? Am I my limitations? What sacrifices are necessary for progress? Is the status quo the ideal?
When I write and read steampunk, it gives me hope that my differences will not cripple me, and that perhaps I can use them to my own advantage.
Steel and Bone is a collection of steampunk short stories and novelettes. It is available as both a print book and an ebook.
We Cooked An Egg On The Asphalt . . . And Then I Ate It
Yesterday it hit 118 degrees Fahrenheit in Phoenix, tying for the fifth hottest day on record here. (My phone said 119, other reports said it hit 120, and a friend’s outdoor thermometer said 121, but I’m going to stick with the conservative temperature.) We decided that the extreme heat made it the perfect time to test whether or not you can actually cook an egg outside on the pavement.
After getting the egg to room temperature, we ventured out into the sweltering heat.
We had considered cooking the egg on tin foil to make it more sanitary, but we decided we cared more about the heat, and we wanted the heat of the asphalt directly on the egg. And so, with great fanfare, we cracked the egg.
We sort of expected something to happen to our egg immediately, but honestly it just sat there.
Yes, it was 118 degrees outside, but we weren’t sure that could actually cook the egg, so we decided to give the sun a little help by adding a mirror. It was certainly easier than using a magnifying glass.
We proceeded to stand outside in the hot sun. Honestly, not the smartest decision we have collectively made as a family. We drank the water bottle we’d brought with us, sprayed each other with a water bottle, met a few neighbors we’d never seen before who were intrigued by our experiment, and mostly just were miserable. If you’ve never been to Phoenix in the summer, let me tell you that 105 degrees is pretty nice if you’re used to it. 110 degrees is kind of miserable. And at 118 degrees your body thinks it’s going to die.
After about 20 minutes the egg really hadn’t changed noticeably. I decided to go inside. If one of our neighbors wanted to steal our egg, all power to them.
We checked on it a few times. Actually, my husband checked on the egg. I stayed in our nicely air conditioned apartment.
After about an hour and fifteen minutes we went back out and decided that the egg had cooked.
While the egg white stayed translucent, it had definitely changed in appearance.
When we poked it, the egg felt solid–it had a plastic-y, rubbery feel to it.
I was able to scrape it off the pavement pretty easily, leaving only a bit of liquid behind.
And now we had this egg that we had cooked with the labor of the sun. And even though it had black-ish, asphalt specks on the bottom, I really wanted to eat it. Because what’s the point of cooking a perfectly good egg if you’re not going to eat it? And when would I ever have this opportunity again?
I admit: I was a little nervous. But that wasn’t going to stop me. I was committed. And when I was in Iceland, I ate putrefied shark (buried, rotten, fermented shark). I was NOT going to let a little asphalt stop me.
So how did it taste? Well, this is my facial expression:
I’ve had sunny side up eggs before, and while they’re not my favorite, I’ll eat them. This egg was sort of like that. But a lot less edible.
The cooked outside was thick. It was hard–I couldn’t really chew through it–and it was plastic-like in texture. It didn’t taste great, and had really lost all its egg flavor (and gained a bit of a dirt taste). As I bit down, the cooked part of the egg congealed around my teeth. At the same moment, the yoke squirted out into my mouth. Now, in sunny side up eggs, the yoke is still runny, but in this egg, it tasted like it hadn’t been cooked at all. When I bit down, the yoke actually squirted toward the back of my mouth and triggered my gag reflex. I tried to chew it more, but I thought I was going to throw up, so I decided to spit it out.
Fortunately, I did not actually throw up. It took several minutes to scrape (and then floss) the cooked part of the egg off of my teeth. I decided not to eat any more egg, and while my five-year-old had planned on eating some, after seeing my reaction she changed her mind.
So yes, you can cook an egg outside on the road in Phoenix. And you can even eat it if you really want the full experience.
Story Beats Presentation
I gave a presentation on Writing Powerful Story Beats as part of a free, online writing conference hosted by LDS Beta Readers.
You can now view a rerecording of the presentation:
The presentation slides:
Useful links:
I wrote three blog posts on this subject, which have additional examples and exercises: 10 Keys to Writing Story Beats, Action Beats, Dialogue Beats, and Beat Variation, and Writing Powerful Emotion Beats.
Also, you can learn more about dialogue beats in my post 10 Keys to Writing Dialogue in Fiction.
5 Reasons You Should Write a Short Story (And 5 Easy Tips to Get You Started)
Writing a short story is like baking a perfect tray of brownies and then sharing it with both friends and strangers. Whereas writing a novel is like being pregnant for nine months, and then realizing you have to raise the kid too.
Even if you only consider yourself a novelist, here are five reasons you should write a short story, followed by five easy tips to get you started.
1. Small Commitment with Big Pay Offs
Most of the short stories I’ve written have taken me somewhere between seven and ten hours (including multiple drafts). You can draft a short story in a few days, give it to readers, and then revise. And then you’re done.
The first pay-off is the sense of fulfillment. You’ve got a finished product, baby! Woot.
And then, after you bask for a few minutes, you can start finding your story the right home. There are tons of places publishing short stories (more on finding them at the end of this post). Getting someone else to publish your story means you have an instant audience of dozens, hundreds, maybe even thousands of people who you don’t know who will read and enjoy your story. Which is pretty awesome.
The final pay-off? You’ve got writing credits. It’s a great thing to put in a query letter—an agent knows that someone else has found your work worth publishing. They’re going to think it’s likely you have more than one story in you, and probably more than one novel – and agents want writers they can nurture for an entire writing career. Having published a few short stories may make the agent give you extra consideration—which could be enough to make the difference.
2. Low Sunk Costs
If you can’t find a place to publish your short story, you didn’t sink much time on it. And now you have awesome content to put on your website or blog. Some authors even write short stories with the planned purpose of putting them on their website (like Erin Morgenstern of Night Circus fame who posted 261 short stories on her blog over a six-year period).
You can also save your short stories for a future short story collection.
3. Beating Writer’s Block
Writing a short story can keep you fresh and help kickstart your other writing. If I have really wretched writer’s block on my novel I have two options: 1. I can be miserable and hope it will go away, or 2. I can switch to another project and keep my writing juices flowing. Switching to a new novel is a bad idea for me, because it’s a huge task and I might never finish the first project. A short story won’t take me away for long, and when I go back to my novel I always have new ideas on what to write or how to revise.
4. Experimentation
A short story is a great place to experiment with new techniques. Have you always wanted to write a story using the epistolary form or write a horror story? Want to try out first person present or doughnut omniscient? (Yes, it’s a real thing.) Then do it in a short story. It might be disastrous, and if so you’ve spent a few hours learning something. But your short story also might be amazing.
5. Entire Writing Process in a Nutshell
When you write a short story, you can go through the entire process of storytelling in a short time, from the inception of an idea to the editing to the publication and promotion of it. You can also really focus on crafting and polishing words and sentences.
With a short story, I can often read the entire piece at my writing group and receive instant feedback on the big picture things as well as smaller concerns. The skills I have learned in writing short stories have transferred over to my longer works.
Because it’s in a smaller form, short story writing is a great way to figure out and refine your personal writing process.
5 Easy Tips to Get You Started On Your Very Own Short Story
1. Stick to the Cool Idea, Image, or Moment
For a short story, you often only need one cool idea, image, or moment. And then you turn that into a scene. That might end up being the only scene in your story, the first scene, or the last scene. If you need more than one scene, only build those necessary to develop the essential idea, image, or moment.
Develop your characters with a few essential, distinct details and a wisp of back story that implies something more. Do the same with the setting—a few amazing details imply an entire world. Even for a fantasy/science fiction story, I often don’t even worry about figuring out the rest of the world myself—doing so tempts me to make the story too long, and the reader can fill in the details herself.
Often people will read my short stories and tell me, “That is such a cool idea. Why don’t you turn it into a novel?” And a lot of my stories could be developed further, could be turned into novels. For example, Orson Scott Card’s novel Ender’s Game was originally written and published as a short story.
But the key when writing a short story is to not let yourself expand it into a novel (at least not for now). If you have a beautiful or moving or insightful or funny idea or moment, it can be powerful on its own—sometimes more powerful and poignant than in a longer form. And no writer has the capacity to turn every cool idea into a full-fledged novel. In that path lies madness…
Length:
A small version of a short story is the flash fiction story. Most definitions cap the flash fiction story at 1000-1500 words, though there are smaller versions (for example, the 6 word, 50 word, and 100 word story).
A short story typically goes up to around 7000 or 7500 words, though if you’re starting out I’d recommend shooting for 2000-3000 words maximum.
It can be extremely challenging to keep your story to 1000 or 3000 words, but doing so forces you to distill your ideas to their very best.
2. It Doesn’t Need a Twist, but it Does Need a Turn
Like the novel, a short story needs a beginning, middle, and an end. But it doesn’t always follow the three act structure, and in most cases you don’t have time for a true denouement.
Some people say that short stories need to end with a twist, and while that can be a good ending, you don’t a twist. What you need is a turn.
The turn is actually a common term in poetry, and is also called the volta, the fulcrum, or the swerve. Almost all sonnets end with a turn.
The turn is a transformation, a shift, a moment of revelation or insight. It can be a shift in plot, character, emotion, or tone. And sometimes it’s a twist.
To me, the turn is really about discovery—and it can be a moment of discovery for the character, the reader, or both.
[Read more about turns on Wikipedia, and then when you read short stories or poems, try to find the turn. It’s there waiting for you.]
3. Let Yourself Loose
Don’t worry about getting your ideas perfect during the first draft. Just get your ideas down. If you need to, force yourself to do the first draft as a rush write.
Also, allow yourself to use inventive forms. There’s a subgenre of flash fiction in which stories are told through the form of a list. The story could be told through journal entries, news articles, or a myriad of other possibilities.
4. On Finding Ideas
Don’t have an idea for a short story?
Visit a list of writing prompts (just google “writing prompts” and you’ll find dozens of websites with hundreds of prompts). Choose one that’s interesting, and write a short story.
Take a character from your novel and write a short story for them that occurs before or after. Readers absolutely love this, and it can help you flesh out your characters.
Use a short story contest as a writing prompt.
One great publication is The First Line. Four times a year they solicit short stories in any genre–all you need to do is use their opening sentence.
You can also find short stories submission calls on writingcareer.com and freelancewriting.com.
Please note – with rare exceptions, don’t submit to short story contests which require entry/reading fees. If it’s a 1 or 2 dollar fee to maintain their submission database technology I’ll do it. But if it’s a larger entry fee, most of the time they are using it as a money-maker. There are so many places that don’t require entry fees, and with a few exceptions (i.e. Creative Nonfiction) most of the better publications don’t.
If your story isn’t accepted by the contest or publication, you may very well be able to find another place to publish it. (More on that below.)
5. Read Short Stories in Your Genre
My short story writing improved when I started reading more short stories. Reading helps you internalize the form. You can check out short story collections in every genre at your local library. There are also online short story magazines where you can read a new short story every day. Some, like Daily Science Fiction, will even send it to your email inbox.
En Fin
I believe in novels—in fact, I’m on the sixth draft of a novel right now. But I absolutely love writing short stories and the sense of completion that comes from finishing something quickly, and then sharing it with others and hearing that it has impacted them in some way.
Bonus: Publication Venues
Publishing is about finding the right match for your story, where your story matches their vision for the publication. There are some magazines (both online and print) that pay professional rates (6 to 10 cents per word). I will often submit a short story to one or two big places with pro rates, and then I’ll submit to smaller publications, sometimes with token payment or unpaid. I know I’m not going to become rich from writing short stories, so it’s more about finding a good home for my short story and getting it to readers.
A few notes:
Most publication venues for short story will purchase (or request) first time publication rights, exclusive for one year. And after the year is up, you can republish the story whenever and wherever you’d like.
Most short story magazines (online or in print) don’t allow simultaneous submissions. And I’ve had it take up to a year to hear to back. But don’t be dismayed! After a couple months, you can always query about your submission, and if they don’t reply, you can withdraw.
Unlike a novel query level, if a short story magazine requests a cover letter, they normally want it to be extremely concise. (Here’s a great article on the short story cover letter.) Of course, read the specific guidelines for wherever you’re submit and try to match that.
Flash Fiction
- General: Every Day Fiction; Flash Fiction Online; Splickety Prime
- Science fiction and fantasy: Daily Science Fiction; Fantasy Scroll; Escape Pod; 365 Tomorrows; Flash Fiction Online; Havok; Leading Edge Magazine (published by BYU)
- Romance: Splickety Love; Romance Flash
- More magazines lists: Flash fiction list and Flash fiction index
Short Stories
- There are dozens of paying and non-paying publications in every genre. Some Google searching and sleuthing is required.
- Poets and Writers has a great list of literary magazines (sortable by genre)
- writingcareer.com and freelancewriting.com post listings for short story contests.
- ralan.com has listings for speculative fiction, mystery, horror, and humor
- The book Novel & Short Story Writer’s Market (check your library for it)
- Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America has a list of professional markets in the genre (scroll to “Magazines and Short Fiction Venues” section).
- Many communities have local writing contests, like the annual Tempe Community Writing contest (open to Maricopa County, Arizona) or story contests in college alumni magazines. These are a great place to get your foot in the door.
Note: You can read or find links to most of my short stories on my Short Publications page.
This originally appeared as a guest blog post on ANWA Events.
The Best Pillow for Writing in Bed
I’ve recently discovered the best writing tool since the laptop.
As a woman balancing writing, mothering, and a myriad of other obligations, I’m always trying to find new ways to up my productivity. I have limited writing time every day, and I use all sorts of tricks to make the most of it, like turning off the Internet and racing against the clock.
Enter the Healthy Sleep Wedge pillow by Furinno.
Now I can write in bed. Seriously, isn’t that every writer’s dream?
Normally, one of my challenges is I don’t have a good, dedicated writing space. Sometimes I write on the sofa, sometimes at the kitchen table, and other times on a small, shared desk, which honestly isn’t great for creativity.
But with my new pillow, writing in bed is suddenly easy and comfortable. It has great back support, which prevents slouching and helps me work for much longer. The back is even tall enough for my husband (who is 6 feet tall). Sometimes I even have to remind him that it is my pillow and I need it…
In addition to using the pillow for writing in bed, I’ve also used it for reading to my kids, folding laundry, crocheting, and general relaxing. It can be set against a flat surface like a wall, but also used upright in the middle of the floor. It’s made of memory foam so it keeps it shape well. Another perk: It has an easy, washable cover.
The only thing I have yet to use the pillow for is sleeping. It’s supposed to help if you have breathing problems, acid reflux, back/neck pains, or are pregnant. None of which apply to me at the moment. But for when they do, I am prepared.
If you’re going to invest in a writing pillow, you want something that’s high quality and going to last. The Furinno model is well-priced and even comes with a five-year factory warranty. (It’s available on Amazon and through other online retailers.)
Some things increase my productivity for a week because of their novelty, and then lose effectiveness. I’ve tested out the pillow for two months, and it still is awesome. I use it to write in bed almost every single day. And yes, I even used it while writing this blog post.
Disclaimer: Furinno provided the Healthy Sleep pillow in exchange for an honest review. All opinions in the post are my own.
New Short Story: Misunderstood at 365 Tomorrows
I have a new short story that has been published! It’s called “Misunderstood,” and you can read it at 365 Tomorrows. There is also a forum discussion of the story, for those who want to chime in.
“Misunderstood” is the shortest story I’ve ever written. Including the title, it’s only 483 words long. Yet the story also spans an epic time frame–over 4000 years.
Once you’ve read the story (go, read!) here are my author notes:
Scene I. Early in 2015 I did a fair bit of reading on Ancient Egypt, because I visited there in March. Pyramids, temples, tombs–Egypt has it all. If you do ever make it to Giza to see the pyramids, make sure you go to the Khufu ship museum. It’s amazing that you can see a boat that’s over 4500 years old. And it’s huge.
Scene II. In researching for another short story, which, a year later, I am still writing, I read 3 or 4 nonfiction books about Vikings. Vikings are pretty awesome, and Hollywood gets a lot wrong about them. Some of my ancestors may be Vikings. And so they snuck into the story.
Scene III. This is the scene that inspired the story. And it’s actually nonfiction. I went to Albertson’s one evening and saw this exact thing happen. Sure, the guy probably wasn’t named Louis. And while I don’t know what he was actually thinking, his facial expressions made it pretty clear. I just had to figure out what story he was part of–and I gravitated to speculative fiction. But maybe I’m right, and he really was a timesoul.
Scene IV. Not much to say about this scene. I just knew this was the ending, and I hope you enjoyed it.